


The Distance Between Us

by bastiankurts (orphan_account)



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-11 05:03:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bastiankurts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kurt is offered the opportunity to work on a placement overseas for a few months that will significantly help towards his future career prospects, both he and Sebastian find themselves caught up in a long distance relationship. However, with Sebastian unable to tell Kurt of his true fears and worries of Kurt going to Milan, and with Kurt's own focus being primarily that of the work that he's doing out there, things become significantly more tricky than either of them first pictured.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been lurking in my mind for some time now, and I've been trying to write this since about summertime but with great difficultly. Now however, I can finally say that I'm working on it. 
> 
> Originally, this idea started life out as an outline for an idea I had proposed with another roleplayer for an up and coming story arc that I was trying to get into motion sometime last year. However, seeing as this story/idea unfortunately never got far enough to see the light of day and the roleplay is now very much dead these days, I have decided to adapt the basics of the idea I had back then and rework it into that more of a plan for a multi-chaptered story. There are a lot of variations from what I had planned out in the beginning (which is understandable, considering that ideas change all the time), but I feel like now I can finally begin to work on it, so, yay.
> 
> I also promised to myself and to others that I'd write this about six or so months ago, so if anyone who remembers me mentioning that come across this -- well, here we are! A little delayed and with time spent to plan where this is going and struggling to work out how to start it, there's finally an upload happening.
> 
> Hopefully, some of you fans of this pairing out there will enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoy working on it.

It starts with a dinner conversation.

Well, if Sebastian were to think in technicalities, then truthfully it really begins a bit before that point. Yet it’s the dinner conversation that sticks out the most prominently from within his mind, that cements itself as the beginning of it all. After all, it is that very dinner conversation that turns what had previously been just a considerable possibility into an actual reality.

At first, Sebastian considers nothing alarmingly different about the dinner in question. If Kurt had decided that for his turn at cooking he’d prepare Sebastian’s favourite meal, Sebastian simply assumes it’s because he’s in a generous mood. If Kurt appears a little quieter than normal, a little more lost within his own thoughts, Sebastian also assumes that it’s simply due to something that he’s working on at with either college or work that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about just yet.

Sebastian understands that both are not unusual things to happen, and that they’ve in fact happened a few times beforehand. What he doesn’t see until much later however is that in the current instance, they are both in fact signs of something else occupying Kurt’s mind.

“Bas?” Kurt finally says after eventually manage to break out of his own thoughts. In response to hearing his name called Sebastian lets out a short humming sound, signifying to Kurt that he had heard him as he takes another bite of his food.

“Can we. I mean --” Kurt struggles to begin, before pausing to let out a heavy sigh and tries again to say what it is that he wants to bring up.

“There’s something that I need to talk to you about.”

The words cause intrigue to spark within Sebastian’s mind, and his eyebrows rise ever so slightly in curiosity. Sebastian takes a moment to finish eating the food that he already has in his mouth from before, and as he does so he notices the way that Kurt’s watching him from across the small table that they’re both seated at. As he looks at Kurt Sebastian finds that he can’t fight the way that the corners of his mouth slowly begin to turn upwards, the hint of an amused smile making it’s presence known there upon his lips.

“Well,” Sebastian finally responds, continuing to keep his eyes trained on watching Kurt. “There’s never usually anything stopping you from speaking whatever it is that’s on your mind. I’d be surprised if that had somehow changed suddenly.”

He pauses, half expecting Kurt to let out a huff of laughter or to give him a roll of his eyes like he usually would. When Kurt does neither however Sebastian’s brow begins to slowly furrow slightly into a small frown, and he tilts his head to one side.

“What is it that you want to talk about so badly?”

From across the table Sebastian watches as Kurt sucks in a breath, almost as if he were attempting to build up his courage for whatever it was that he was about to say. The few moments of silence between them as he waits for Kurt’s answer only continues to increase his eagerness to discover what it is that’s on Kurt’s mind, and it isn’t until he starts speaking again that Sebastian finds he’s thankful Kurt’s about to explain and make things clearer for him.

“Do you remember when I spoke to you about the placement offer I’d been given? The one that would act as part of my credit towards college during my upcoming final year?”

Kurt’s questions cause Sebastian’s frown to deepen ever so slightly. He remembers exactly the conversation that Kurt is mentioning, and as well as that Sebastian can also remember how it was that he had felt himself when Kurt had first deciding that they were a topic of conversation that needed to be brought up between the both of them.

“Yes … ?” He responds, almost cautiously. Sebastian is still holding the smile from before on his face – or at least he’s _trying_ to keep a hold of it – and he’s certain that Kurt can’t yet sense the way that his shoulders have begun to stiffen somewhat at the direction he believes the current conversation they’re having to be heading in. If he has noticed at all, then Sebastian decides that Kurt is instead very good at not showing any response towards it.

“Well, I think I’ve finally made my decision on what I want to do about that.”

“Oh?” Sebastian answers. He raises an eyebrow questioningly, a silent motion that asks Kurt to continue with what it is that he’s saying.

There’s an air of tension beginning to creep around the two of them in the room, both men knowing the others lingering unspoken thoughts and feelings on the topic at hand. As he continues to look across at Kurt however Sebastian can see that Kurt’s expression has somehow managed to grow and change as he has been speaking, noticing that there was an edge of determination there that wasn’t present moments beforehand.

“What decision did you manage to come to in the end?” Sebastian asks. Somewhere deep inside of him Sebastian’s sure that he already knows the answer, but he won’t be content until he hears it come from Kurt himself. He wants to know for certain what it is that Kurt’s decided to do, so that he knows what direction it is that things are likely to be moving from this point for _their_ future also.

Kurt turns his gaze away from Sebastian’s, instead deciding to look down and turn his attention onto that of the table before him.

“I’ve decided that -- I’m going to take it. The offer, that is,” Kurt says, slowly allowing himself to look up at Sebastian again once the words are spoken. There in his eyes Sebastian can see the determination again, the very fire that Kurt always carries deep within himself whenever it came to the things that he was passionate about, and one of the many reasons why Sebastian had found it so easy to fall in love with Kurt in the first place.

“I’ve decided that I’m going to Italy, Sebastian.”

The sentence falls heavily upon Sebastian, like a weight that had just been thrown upon him to carry all of a sudden. He had known, always he had known. From the moment that Kurt had first told him that the opportunity had been offered to him, at the back of his mind Sebastian knew that there was every chance in the world that Kurt would do his very best to grasp it. And a big part of himself _wanted_ Kurt to grasp it, wanted him to make the most out of the opportunities that were presented before him. Sebastian knew that such an offer could do wonders for Kurt further down the line -- not only due to the experience he would receive but also in how it would help him in his work in the future -- and the only thing that he wanted more than to see Kurt succeed was to see Kurt happy.

But although he would never admit to it Sebastian was also selfish. He always had been. And due to that, his excitement over the offer Kurt had been made didn’t last very long. As soon as Kurt had told him how long the placement was for Sebastian had quickly grown to loathe it. Instead of just becoming something that provided Kurt with great future opportunities, in Sebastian’s mind it became this .. _thing_ that would inevitably end up separating them, like a giant roadblock in their future that they couldn’t escape from. Even if it was only for a few months, Sebastian almost couldn’t bear just the simple thought of imagining it. It wasn’t like Kurt would be working somewhere within the city either, he would be an entire _ocean_ away. Kurt would be in another country, an entire _time zone_ away, and every time those thoughts came to the forefront of his mind, Sebastian couldn’t help but selfishly wish that Kurt would choose the option of staying with him over that of moving away.

Kurt’s decision was entirely his own to make, and Sebastian knew that he could not and also would not convince him either way otherwise. However, that didn’t mean that the reality of Kurt finally coming to the decision that would inevitably mean he’d be far away from him didn’t leave Sebastian with a somewhat aching feeling within him any less, nor did it mean that Sebastian didn’t feel as if he had just had the wind knocked out of him.

“Oh,” Sebastian finally replies after a silence that probably stretches a moment too long. He deflates ever so slightly as the reality continues to hit him, and the amused smile that he had been trying to hold onto before begins to waver slightly. It’s when he catches sight of Kurt’s concerned expression that he quickly attempts to hold onto it again, forcing himself to be happy and supportive of what it is that Kurt’s decided to do for himself. 

The silence that passes after he’s spoken seems to again last longer than it really should, as before Sebastian has time to really register it happening, Kurt’s suddenly rushing to speak once more.

“It’s just for a few months, Bas,” Kurt begins, his voice sounding somewhat urgent, almost like he’s trying to convince not only Sebastian but also himself with his words. “We’ll both be so busy at the time that it’ll pass by before we even know it. I just – it’s this _huge_ opportunity for me, and when I kept thinking about it after we spoke before about it, I knew that I really couldn’t turn it down --”

“No,” Sebastian interrupts, causing Kurt to stop speaking. For the first time since they’ve been talking Sebastian breaks eye contact with Kurt, choosing instead to close his eyes as he shakes his head.

“No, you’re right. You couldn’t turn this down,” Sebastian continues, opening his eyes once more to look at Kurt again. He can see that his interruption had left Kurt worried, and Sebastian knows that Kurt had been wondering what it was that he was going to say in response. So in an act to try and reassure him Sebastian pushes his plate of food out of the way slightly with one hand, making just enough space for himself so that he can reach forward and hold Kurt’s hand with his. Carefully, he’s pulling Kurt’s hand towards the centre of the table so that they could rest it with his there together, their fingers intertwined. Sebastian begins to rub soothing circles into the skin upon the top of Kurt’s hand, trying to relax him slightly even though he feels just as tense himself.

“This offer – it’s a big deal, Kurt. A huge one, and one that I know you’ll get the most out of too. As I’ve told you before … this can – no. It _will_ open up so many more doors for you for your future and whatever path it is that you decide to take with it.”

Sebastian pauses then, swallowing slightly and focusing his attention completely on where their hands are laced together upon the table. He waits for a long moment, trying to focus on his thoughts and not on that of his own emotions, before eventually finding the right words so that he can continue.

“I said to you back when you first told me about this opportunity being a possibility and you weren’t sure what it was that you wanted to do that I would support you no matter what decision you decided to make. Whether that meant you refusing it or you deciding to take it. And – well. I still support you, Kurt.” There’s another pause, shorter this time, but just long enough for Sebastian to turn his gaze away from their hands to look at Kurt directly. “If this is what you _really_ want to do, then all I can do is support you. Because no one knows better which option will make you happier other than yourself.”

He watches as Kurt seems to stare back at him with an expression that makes it seem like he’s trying to read how it is that Sebastian was truly feeling about his decision. Sebastian knew that with how well Kurt knew him he could probably tell that he was carrying more emotion than he was willing to reveal in regards to what his decision had come to, but Sebastian’s determined not to let him see that side of him if he can help it. Because although Sebastian honestly may not like the decision completely himself, he knows that things would end up significantly worse if he doesn’t support Kurt in doing something that he so obviously wants to do for himself, and he certainly doesn’t want his own opinions to be enough to influence Kurt to change his mind completely.

Eventually however Kurt seems to be somewhat content with whatever it is he was searching Sebastian’s expression for, and the tension in his own shoulders seems to dissipate ever so slightly.

“So --” Kurt begins, still watching Sebastian intently, and Sebastian can feel the way that Kurt’s hand moves ever so slightly from beneath where his own is covering it to instead switch their positions, his own being covered by Kurt’s hand then. “You’re ... okay with this decision? I mean; you’re _really_ okay with this?”

 _No. You’re not._ Sebastian hears his thoughts say to himself instantly. He knows however that he can’t say that out loud, that he can’t be selfish or unfair right now. So instead he finds himself ignoring it and giving a small, short nod.

“Yes,” He says, contradicting his thoughts. “I am. And _we,_ Kurt --” Sebastian squeezes Kurt’s hand tightly from where it lay beneath Kurt’s, as if to remind Kurt that he was with him. “ _We_ will be fine too.”

Kurt watches Sebastian again for what seems like another long moment, before finally Sebastian feels the way that he squeezes back with his own hand. Kurt takes in another deep breath before nodding himself, and Sebastian can’t help but notice the way that finally, a small smile seems to make it’s way upon Kurt’s face. He’s aware that the remainder of his own smile feels tight and forced, but Sebastian continues to wear it anyway, almost as if it were armour guarding how it is that he truly feels deep inside.

“Okay,” Kurt eventually says, giving a small nod as he lets out a big sigh. The gaze that he had watching Sebastian’s face for anything unreadable under his expression breaks for a second, and Kurt looks down at where their hands are held together tightly. “I know that … it won’t be the easiest thing in the world for us to handle, but – I’m glad you said that we’d be okay anyway. Because we _will_ , Bas. I won’t let us _not_ be, even with the distance that’ll be between us. It’ll be difficult, but it’ll be all worth it in the end. I promise.”

At Kurt’s words, Sebastian can only find himself trying to make his smile seem more convincing in conveying happiness.

“I know. And… I know that we’ll work as best as we can to make things work too, Kurt. Again, _we’ll be okay_ ,” Sebastian replies, although he’s unsure if the words are for Kurt’s peace of mind, or rather his own.

* * *

As the weeks go by and they move ever closer to the day in which Kurt is scheduled to leave, things slowly begin to change.

For one, as each day passes on by, it doesn’t go unnoticed to Sebastian that Kurt grows more and more excited about the placement that he’s now definitely sure to be going on. After Kurt’s finished with submitting all the remaining necessary forms to finalise his decision, his college then sends information to prepare him for what to expect within his visit. Emails, letters, booklets -- Kurt receives them all. Little packages of information that only manage to keep fuelling his ever growing interest for the new country he’ll soon be exploring by himself. 

One day when he’s cleaning a few of the items away that are scattered across the coffee table, Sebastian discovers a large magazine titled _‘New York to Milan: a thousand of the most in style fashions for 2015’_. He can tell just by glancing at the cover and the way that little pink post-it notes are sticking out where they’re marking pages that it’s more than likely related to the work that Kurt will be doing whilst away in Italy, and as soon as that fact passes Sebastian’s thoughts he quickly leaves the magazine alone and moves on, not wanting to think anymore about it than he already found himself needing to.

It’s clear that Kurt has been doing his own research on what to expect from Milan also, as he suddenly becomes more knowledgeable about what it is that the city has to offer. Sebastian loves that Kurt no longer seems to feel like the subject of Italy is one that he needs to tiptoe around when talking to him about it, and that he no longer seems to feel as if Sebastian is going to dismiss the topic so easily if he chooses to bring it up at any point. Now Kurt becomes more animated when he talks about Italy, and it’s easy to tell that he’s finally letting himself really begin to look forward to the fact that he’s going away.

Sebastian on the other hand has not embraced the reality of the idea any better than he had to begin with. In fact if anything, he begins to hate it even more so. While Sebastian is glad to see that Kurt has seemed to relax more since making his decision on what it is he wants to do for himself, he has also begun to feel like the only thing that the two of them talk about anymore _is_ Italy. If Kurt ever notices him tune out or grow silent in their discussions he never mentions it, and Sebastian almost feels guilty in the way that he feels some sort of relief wash over him when Kurt decides to gossip to either Rachel or Blaine over the phone about it all instead. Kurt is his _boyfriend_ after all, and so really, Sebastian feels that he _should be_ or that he should at least _act_ more engaged and more encouraging about these sorts of things then he thinks he currently is at times.

Sometimes though, Sebastian really can’t help but wonder if Kurt is looking forward to leaving for other reasons rather than just the program that his college has put him on. As time continues to tick on, Sebastian grows increasingly terrified at the thought that things might in fact be the beginning of the end for them. That while he’s away Kurt will discover that he wants something very different than him and the relationship that they’ve built together, and that in the end Sebastian himself will end up heartbroken somehow. Every time that those negative thoughts come to the forefront of his mind however, Sebastian quickly attempts to push them away. He knows that there’s a large chance that he’s just being paranoid, and so instead he tries to focus his attention on both Kurt’s happiness and on that of thinking on the here and the now. Seeing as the time that they have together before Kurt leaves continues to grow shorter and shorter, Sebastian decides that the best way to spend that time is by continuing to enjoy one another's company. 

Yet time has always been known for having a nasty way of creeping up on people too quickly when it’s not wanted; and in Sebastian’s case, he feels that the weeks have passed by in a blur before eventually finding himself helping Kurt to prepare and pack. 

* * *

“Do you want me to help unload your luggage?”

Sebastian’s hands are set on the steering wheel as he speaks, and he takes a long moment to look out of the window in front of him before eventually turning his attention to where Kurt was sitting beside him in the car.

It was the day in which Kurt was due to leave, and Sebastian had offered to drive him down to the airport. The journey had been a quiet one in terms of conversation, with very little being said between them. Sebastian took it down to a mixture of still being tired from the both of them having to wake up so early, and the fact that both of their thoughts were instead too focused on possibilities for what the next few months ahead of them were likely to be like. At one point he had turned the radio on low in the background, although Sebastian wasn’t really sure if it had had much of an effect on either of them – or if it had provided any effect at all, really.

“Yeah,” Sebastian hears Kurt say in response to his question, watching out of the corner of his eye as Kurt gives a small little nod also. “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

Almost awkwardly Sebastian nods himself in reply. He ducks his head downwards slightly as he moves his hand so that he can unbuckle his seatbelt, yet when Kurt reaches out to lay his own hand gently over his to stop him, Sebastian can’t help but to be surprised.

“Just – wait a minute though,” Kurt says, and Sebastian doesn’t hesitate to do as he asks. His own hand pauses as he looks up, a confused expression meeting Kurt’s calmer one that’s looking directly back at him.

“What is it?” Sebastian hears himself asking. There’s a small pause between them for a moment, and when Kurt eventually begins to move his hand away from Sebastian’s, Sebastian automatically misses the contact that had been there.

“I have something for you,” Kurt replies, a small smile lighting up his features as he speaks. Sebastian raises a curious eyebrow, watching as Kurt slowly begins to move forward ever so slightly so that he could grab one of the small bags that he had brought into the front passenger seat with him.

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asks, intrigued. Kurt must detect the tone that’s hidden there within his words, as Sebastian hears him let out a laugh to himself whilst giving a roll of his eyes.

“Don’t get too excited, it’s only a little something I found,” Kurt says, leaning back against his seat once more once he’s found the bag he had been searching for. He tilts his head slightly to the side to look at Sebastian, simply watching him for a long moment before eventually offering him the item that he’d brought.

Sebastian is still surprised – yet also slightly touched – by Kurt’s actions. A part of him is sure that Kurt’s likely to have brought him a gift that relates to some sort of ongoing joke that they’d been continuing to bat both back and forth between the two of them throughout the time they’ve known each other. Yet when he actually looks into the bag that Kurt had handed to him, Sebastian is able to say honestly that what’s sitting inside is certainly something that he wouldn’t have otherwise expected.

“A bear?” He asks, the corner of his lips quirking up slightly as he turns to Kurt in time to see him give a small shrug of his shoulders.

“Well, I just thought. With the way you cling to me when you’re asleep, you might need it while I’m away. I mean, I guess you could just cling to your pillow instead if you really wanted --”

“Okay; one. Under no circumstances do I ever  _cling_ to you,” Sebastian interrupts, his words amused, yet also somewhat defensive. When he see’s the way that Kurt’s gaze turns back on him again however the already growing smile on his lips cracks free, making him break out into a grin.

“Fine. _Cuddle._ Cling, what it is that you want to call it. Or not call it, in your case.” Kurt pauses, tilting his head slightly to one side as he continues to watch Sebastian. “The point I was trying to make however, is that I brought it so that it could keep you company until I got back.”

At Kurt’s words Sebastian’s expression changes into one that is softer, with his grin morphing back into a small smile once again. Hearing that Kurt had brought the rather daft little toy as a sort of comfort for him left Sebastian somewhat speechless almost, and the teasing nature of what it was he had prepared to say in response left his mind completely.

“I’m going to miss you,” Sebastian instead hears himself say, and even to his own ears Sebastian can hear the fondness that is laced within the words. He hears Kurt let out a small sound before he’s leaning into him, and something about the movement entrances Sebastian, his own body moving slowly to lean towards Kurt more in return.

Once he’s close enough Kurt reaches out to Sebastian and rests a hand against his cheek, causing Sebastian to lean into the softness and the familiarity of the touch. With his free hand Sebastian senses as Kurt carefully lets his fingers hover over the nape of his neck, letting the fingertips dance and play lightly with the hairs that were found there. The touches of Kurt’s hands and fingertips touching his skin has Sebastian wanting to close his eyes in contentment, yet he continues to focus and train his eyes on where Kurt is sitting with him instead, knowing that in just a few moments it’ll be a long while until he gets to be so close to the other again.

“I’m going to miss you too,” Kurt softly replies.

Sebastian only has enough time to register the way Kurt’s eyes dart quickly to look down at his lips and back up again before Kurt’s leaning closer into him again, finally closing the remaining space that’s between them and gently pressing his lips against Sebastian’s own. He responds, letting his lips slide slowly and gently against Kurt’s at first, almost as if they’re both memorising the way that their lips feel against one another's. Eventually Sebastian feels the way that Kurt begins to start pressing firmer into the kiss and so responds in kind, kissing him deeper whilst keeping Kurt closer to him, afraid to let him leave.

They both have to pull apart to breathe after a while, and although Sebastian doesn’t want to acknowledge it himself, he knows once they do that for Kurt to make his flight on time they have to part. He finds himself swallowing his feelings down again however; giving Kurt another small, sad smile as they move away from each other again before reaching to undo his seatbelt finally.

“Come on,” Sebastian says, unhooking the belt and letting it go. “We should grab your luggage before we get nagged at by some warden for being parked here too long.”

As he leaves the car Sebastian can hear Kurt follow suit from the other side, and by the time that he has the trunk open Kurt’s there, standing beside him. He helps Kurt unload the luggage that he brought with him, and once they’ve gathered everything that he needs Sebastian shuts the trunk once more before walking with Kurt to stand on the path. As Sebastian lowers the suitcase that he’s carrying for Kurt down onto the path he shares a look at Kurt once more, before moving to stand up straight once more and turning his attention to him completely. As he does so Kurt steps towards him, closing some of the gap that had been between them before Sebastian wraps his arms around Kurt’s slightly smaller frame, pulling him in for one last, tight hug. Kurt’s arms wrap around him in return, and when Sebastian feels Kurt squeeze slightly he can’t help but to bury his face into his hair, taking in a deep breath as he memorises Kurt’s familiar scent, knowing that he’ll have to get used to living without it while Kurt’s away.

“Call me as soon as you land, okay?” Sebastian asks quietly before moving to provide a bit of distance between the two of them again. He moves his hands to rest them on top of Kurt’s shoulders, making sure that Kurt is looking at him as he speaks. “Really. I don’t care what time it is. Just – let me know that you get there safely.”

Kurt gives Sebastian a fond smile, reaching up with one hand to rest it on where Sebastian has one on top of a shoulder. “I will. I promise,” Kurt says. He gives another little squeeze to Sebastian’s hand before lowering it, stepping back when Sebastian moves his other hand so that Kurt can grab the handle of his suitcase for himself. Sebastian watches as he checks he has everything quickly for one final time before Kurt’s facing him again, giving him a knowing look before he continues. “Try not to get into _too_ much trouble while I’m away.”

Sebastian gives a small huff at Kurt’s words, looking down at the ground for a moment and shuffling his feet slightly. When he looks up again Kurt’s already walking towards the airport entrance, and Sebastian watches as he leaves, knowing that he won’t be able to get into the car again until Kurt’s disappeared from his view completely. By the time Kurt just about reaches the doorway however Sebastian sees him pause, and for a moment he wonders if Kurt’s forgotten something. Kurt turns around slightly, a look of apprehension on his face as he searches for Sebastian’s face, and when he finds it again Sebastian can see Kurt relax slightly. A small smile appears on Kurt’s face before he raises a hand holding his paperwork and passport, giving Sebastian a small wave from across the path. Sebastian can’t help but to smile ever so slightly himself, and he gives Kurt a small little nod in response, before raising a hand of his own in the air. The action seems to be what Kurt was looking for, as his own hand falls back down to his side, and after having paused to say goodbye, he finally turns around again to walk through the doors.

Sebastian continues to watch Kurt until he’s disappeared completely, and when he’s gone the smile that he’d been wearing falls. Suddenly he’s hit by the fact that Kurt’s gone – that he’s going on a plane to a country thousands of miles away from him. Sebastian doesn’t really want to go home, knowing that for the next few months he’s going to have to adjust to not having Kurt there with him. But it’s something that he knows he has to face at some point in time. The thought makes him let out a long sigh, and Sebastian shoves his hands down deep into his pockets before turning, making his way back to the car once more.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey,” Sebastian says when he finally answers the incoming call that he has. He’s slightly flustered due to the fact that he had been preparing food for himself when the phone went off and had hurried to answer as he was worried that he was going to miss the call completely, but as soon as he hears the sound of familiar laughter coming from the other end he is quickly made aware of the way that his body relaxes again.

“Hey yourself,” Kurt answers, and Sebastian swears he can hear the amusement hidden in Kurt’s words even from over the phone. “Am I … interrupting something?”

“No! No,” Sebastian hurries to respond, tucking the phone under his shoulder so that he can continue working on what he was doing before Kurt had rung. “Just – preparing some dinner. Or at least attempting to figure out how to, exactly.”

“Ah,” Sebastian hears Kurt reply. “Cooking. I should have guessed really, shouldn’t I? Although I will admit that I _am_ rather surprised to hear that you didn’t just decide to order something in for once.”

“Oh fuck you,” Sebastian says good-naturedly, and once again he can hear Kurt laughing from the other end. “The important thing is that I’m trying here.”

“To be a responsible adult, yes. I’m impressed.”

Sebastian can’t help but to smile at Kurt’s quick-witted response. It was something that they were both very used to, throwing such words back and forth between each other within their relationship, and hearing it helped to make Sebastian feel just a little bit less alone in the apartment somehow. 

“How’s Italy? You didn’t really mention much when I got your message yesterday to let me know you’d landed safely.” 

“That’s because I was so exhausted by the time that I’d managed to find the cab finally.”

Sebastian could hear a muffled ruffling sound in the background for a second on Kurt’s end of the call, and he half expected that Kurt was most likely sprawled out, relaxing on his bed as he attempted to try and make himself more comfortable.

“It was quite the journey in the end,” Kurt continues to say. “I’m just glad that I didn’t have the hassle of worrying with sorting out any money at the time.”

“The joys of having all the essentials prepared beforehand,” Sebastian says, moving so that he could slide what food he had been busy chopping and sliding into one of the pots that were currently sitting on the heat. 

“Exactly,” Kurt replies around a long sigh. “But to properly answer your earlier question, it seems quite lovely here so far. I mean, I haven’t had much of a chance to look around or really do much since, you know; having to unpack and everything. But I _have_ managed to speak to a few of the nearby locals who were able to give me some helpful tips and advice that I can put to use while I’m staying here. Oh! And I’m also thinking about visiting the _Parco Sempione_ whilst I have the chance to do so before work starts up.” 

“Is that one of those parks you were on about before?” Sebastian asks, trying to remember if it was something that Kurt had at all mentioned to him during any of the times before where he had ending up tuning out and stopped listening for a while.

“It’s one of them, yes,” Kurt replies. “It’s apparently very lovely from what I’ve heard. You’d probably like it.”

Sebastian can’t help but to let out a small snort at that, checking to make sure that what he was cooking was still doing alright before responding.

“Just because I’m rather fond of Central Park doesn’t automatically mean that I’ll like all _other_ parks, Kurt.”

“No, but I like to think that I happen to know you quite well by now,” Kurt simply answers. “And I know that you enjoy walking around parks a lot more than you like to let people believe, which is why I’ll be sure to send you some pictures once I visit this one.”

“If it’ll make you happy,” Sebastian says around a huff of laughter.

“Oh, it will,” Kurt replies. Before he can say much more however his words get caught up in a yawn that causes Sebastian to frown slightly, letting his eyes travel over to where the clock he had in the kitchen hung upon the wall. 

“Kurt, what time is it over there for you right now?”

“Huh? The time?” Kurt asks, and again Sebastian can just about hear as Kurt shifts and moves about slightly so that he can find out. “It’s – a little past midnight here at the moment.”

“ _Midnight?_ Kurt --” 

“It’s fine, Bas,” Kurt says, interrupting what was sure to be Sebastian’s coming lecture. “I’m still adjusting to the time difference between America and here anyway. And – I didn’t want to call you any earlier just incase you were busy yourself. Well, at least not until I knew for certain what time it would be for you over there.” 

Sebastian sucks in a breath at that. He knows he can’t be mad, not really, and he knows Kurt is still taking the time to adjust to everything new that’s going on for him in his life right now. But he also knows that Kurt needs to be well rested in time for when he starts working in just a few days time. He lets it go however, because even during the forty-eight hours that they’d been apart, Sebastian has _missed_ just simply talking to Kurt. He’s missed the sound of his voice, their conversations, all of it. And because of that, he loves getting to talk to him now even more so. 

“Alright; but we’re going to have to sort out a schedule at some point for what times are good for the both us for when your work actually starts up, because I really won’t be happy if you haven’t slept well the night before because you were awake throughout it talking to me when you knew you have to be awake early the next morning. And I’ll remember that plan too.”

“Funnily enough, you’re beginning to sound a lot like my Father,” Kurt says, laughing lightly once more. “But, deal. I’ll just go ahead and assume that I can get away with it this time because you happen to miss my voice just as much as I may miss hearing the sound of yours.”

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asks. He looks back at some of the food he’s been cooking, before deciding to move the phone from where it’s resting against his shoulder to hold it properly with his hand once more. “Hey, stay on the line, okay? I think the foods more or less done, and I want to keep talking for a bit longer before you inevitably fall asleep on me.”

“I might be able to do that for you. After all, I did make sure to buy a phonecard that has extra credit on it before I called you.”

They continue to talk to each other for a while longer that evening. Kurt speaks more than Sebastian does at first, filling him in more on how things had gone since they had parted ways at the airport, as well as talking about a few of the things that he planned to add onto his to-do list if his work ended up allowing him the opportunity to relax every now and then. Kurt’s first day at his work placement was to be in three days time, and as Kurt updated him more about what was happening for him, Sebastian could tell by the way in which he spoke that Kurt was both excited and nervous to start. It was an odd thing to pick up on in a way, as Sebastian could recall Kurt being nothing but confident about the opportunity on the days leading up to his departure, and ever since they had first met one another Sebastian could hardly recall the amount of times that Kurt hadn’t been completely confident about something. It was known to happen on some occasions of course, but those occasions came very rarely.

Once Sebastian had started to detect Kurt’s hidden nerves, he found himself holding a better interest in what it was that Kurt was telling him. Sebastian would find himself picking up on things here and there that he could recall Kurt mentioning at some point in the past, only now the difference was that Sebastian found himself slightly more engaged into hearing Kurt’s enthusiasm about them. By the time Sebastian had given up on picking at his meal and leaving the remainder of it that didn’t seem as edible as the rest of it had he had begun telling Kurt about how things were going in New York, updating him on things that their friends were up to since Kurt had gone away.

Eventually -- and after quite a long while of the two of them talking -- Sebastian begins to notice how Kurt’s growing quieter and quieter, until he’s not saying anything in response at all. At first Sebastian doesn’t know if to be concerned or even worried, and so decides to call Kurt’s name a few times in an attempt to see if it would spark some sort of a response from the other side of the line. It’s when Kurt finally gives him a small, slightly mumbled response that Sebastian realises that he’s apparently just been dozing off, and he takes the opportunity then to turn his head and read the time displayed on his own clock once more. He’s surprised to notice that the time reads at half past seven in the evening for him; and quickly Sebastian recalls the time difference that’s now between them, remembering that for Kurt it’s more like half past one in the _morning_. Sebastian’s not surprised to find that Kurt’s tired, knowing that the sleep he had been struggling to find over the past few days seems to have finally -- and rather thankfully -- caught up on him again.

“Hey,” Came Sebastian’s voice, speaking softly into the phone once more. “It’s getting late, and I think it would be best if I left you for now so that you can catch up on your sleep instead. Alright?”

“Mmm’kay,” Kurt mumbles once more, and Sebastian can’t help but chuckle to himself, knowing from his experiences of living with Kurt how likely it was that he hadn’t even really heard anything of what Sebastian had just said to him.

“Goodnight, Kurt,” Sebastian continues. “I’ll speak to you soon.”

He clicks off from the call then, knowing that Kurt’s still likely to wake up later and worry that he’d used all the credit on his card before eventually realizing that he’d just fallen asleep.

As Sebastian pulls the phone away from his ear to let it rest upon the table he can’t help but to glance at it, a sensation of relief washing over him as he does so. It isn’t until that moment that he realises just how much he had been yearning to hear the familiar sound of Kurt’s voice over the past day or so, and yet now that he has it helps somewhat to shift his thoughts into a bit of a better perspective somehow.

It is then that Sebastian, for the first time, can really see that they can work within the situation that they currently find themselves presented in. He can see them working through the distance that’s currently separating them, the disturbance from what had grown to be considered a normality between them, and Sebastian realises as he allows himself to think and belief those things that there is an air of positivity surrounding him.

For the first time, Sebastian doesn’t feel that a few months apart from each other is as daunting as he had first believed it to be. Not really.

* * *

Kurt has an extended weekend to get some sort of bearing within the new city that he’s surrounded with, meaning that he has a good three days to explore for himself until the first day of starting on his work placement. So, after finally being able to catch up on some much needed sleep and having finished unpacking the essentials of what it is he feels that he needs, he decides to start working on visiting a few of the places that Milan has to offer.

Sebastian becomes aware of this around lunchtime on his time, which for Kurt is about six in the evening. After spending the morning at the gym with two of his college friends that regularly met up there Sebastian stops to catch some lunch, when suddenly his phone dings with an incoming message. Curious, Sebastian pulls it out of his pocket and looks at it, noticing quickly that it’s a message from Kurt. He quickly grabs his coffee and the food he had brought before carefully manoeuvring his way out of the growing queue, making his way over to one of the small tables that he frequently sits at.

As soon as he’s settled into his seat Sebastian finds himself opening the message, and the first thing that he notices is that Kurt has sent him a photograph. Upon looking Sebastian finds that it’s a rather impressive photograph: an image of a small little river that’s overlooked by a small selection of large, beautiful trees that are aged; the image of greenery and a footpath visible from beneath the drooping branches in the background. It’s simple yet Sebastian decides he kind of loves it, and it isn’t until he’s finished admiring the photograph for a long moment that he realises Kurt had sent him another message at some point also. Sebastian decides then to open that one, curious to see what it is he could have sent him next, only to realise that the second message is a text.

**Kurt:** _It’s one of the many beautiful views from the_ Parco Sempione _; aka as you so like to point out ‘one of_ those _parks’. I’m uploading some images from today’s adventures on to Facebook while I have some time before I go out again this evening. If you’re half as interested as I believe you to be; you’ll check them out._

Sebastian laughs as he reads Kurt’s text, shaking his head to himself before clicking a button to respond.

**Sebastian:** _I might spare a moment or two somewhere to flick through them. Does the continuation of your adventures tonight entail more photography also?_

**Kurt:** _I’ll judge that from the amount of likes I’m going to be notified of from you when I next get online. And no, no photography for tonight. Just drinks with one of the other students that are working elsewhere in the city and a few of the people they’ve been talking to. Nothing particularly special._

Kurt’s response comes quickly, and Sebastian reads it whilst drinking some of his coffee. Kurt had mentioned the other students that were selected on placements as well as himself, but there had been such a small selection chosen that Sebastian recalled that Kurt had been certain that with how large the city was there was a chance that he wouldn’t even see them. So it was a good thing in a way that Kurt had apparently managed to find one of them, as it meant that he wasn’t quite so alone out there. Sebastian’s a little bit surprised to hear about the other people however, but realises quickly that Kurt and his college friend are more than likely attempting to build a few connections for themselves during their visit.

**Sebastian:** _Fun. Although I doubt it’ll be quite as fun without me there, of course. Although this does provide the perfect opportunity for you to give me feedback on any of the bars and clubs you visit. For future reference, of course._

**Kurt:** _Why? Planning to visit Italy sometime, Smythe?_

**Sebastian:** _Well, you never know what could happen in the future, do you?_

Sebastian takes a bite into his food as he waits for Kurt’s response, smiling to himself as he does so.

**Kurt:** _True. Fine, fine. I’ll let you know if this place is any good or not. And before you say it -- because I know you will -- I’ll be sure to have a drink for you, too._

Sebastian continues to text Kurt back throughout his lunch, unaware of how much time really passes yet content all the same. At one point Kurt asks about Sebastian’s plans for his evening, and Sebastian knows that hidden behind the teasing nature of the words looking back at him on the screen of his phone is Kurt’s discreet way of making sure that he’s doing alright too.

It isn’t until he’s finished with his food that Kurt sends him a final message, telling him that he has to go but that they’ll talk again soon. Sebastian sends one more message back himself, before moving to stand and gathering the few belongings that he had brought with him. As he slides his phone back into his pocket Sebastian already knows that he’s decided on one thing that he’s going to do later that evening, and after throwing his rubbish away he makes his way back to his apartment.

* * *

Later, when he’s home once more Sebastian finds himself sitting in front of his laptop, typing in the last few letters on the keyboard and logging onto his Facebook account. As soon as the page has loaded Sebastian can see the usual red notification mark blinking back at him -- updating him on messages he’d received from college friends about assignments that are due in soon, an RSVP to an event which he’s been invited to, one message from Blaine and notifications from Kurt. He works quickly to respond to the things that aren’t related to Kurt, wanting to deal with them sooner rather than later, before eventually finally focusing on his notifications.

As he begins to glance over them Sebastian can see that Kurt’s tagged him in things; pictures that had been uploaded a few hours before. Sebastian moves to click over one of the notifications, opening up a folder that Kurt has titled as _‘Milan, 2015’_. As the folder loads an image appears, and Sebastian notices it to be another photograph of the park Kurt had been to earlier; only this time the image is taken from a different angle. Beneath the image Kurt has written where the photo was taken -- _Parco Sempione_ , once again -- but then beneath that Sebastian can see where it is that he’s been tagged, noticing that Kurt’s left him a small little message there:

_‘Even you couldn’t say that you wouldn’t enjoy spending a morning walking through this park, Bas.’_

He continues to look through the folder Kurt’s uploaded, noticing that as well as the park he’s photographed little places and things that have caught his eye while he had been out earlier. Every so often Sebastian would come across one of the images that he had been tagged in, noticing that on each of them Kurt would leave a little note of something for him to read. It was always something silly, something that other people wouldn’t think much of when reading for themselves, but to Sebastian they were things that made him smile and laugh. They were also little bits of Kurt’s mind -- signs to show that Kurt was still thinking about him, just as Sebastian was him.

They were just daft little pictures and notes, but all the same Sebastian found himself pressing the like button on a few of them anyway.

* * *

 

The next few days pass by quickly -- in a blur almost -- and eventually Kurt’s days are no longer filled with long, lavish walks and visits around some of Milan’s finest places to spot. Instead they are filled with the hours spent on his work placement, along with attempting to fit into yet another new environment that will become a sort of surrogate home to him during his stay over the next few months.

At first, things seem to continue to go well between Kurt and Sebastian, despite work entering the picture for Kurt. They both continue to keep the communication going between the two of them, and even though Kurt has work to focus on now also, Sebastian’s own college work begins to slowly demand more of his time too. In a way their own increasing workloads are somewhat of a good thing rather than that of a major hindrance, as it allows the both of them the ability to empathise with how the other is feeling even though they are living across the world from one another. Neither person feels particularly neglected or ignored, as they both have other things in which to occupy their time on also.

One thing that also doesn’t change is that Sebastian continues to make sure that they make sure to put aside the time for one another to talk via Skype. As useful as texts, calls and the internet could be, for Sebastian nothing really beat the ability to actually be able to see his boyfriend’s face for an evening while they spoke to one another. As far as Sebastian is aware their frequent Skype dates are an important thing for Kurt also, as he is always online promptly when Sebastian is, and so far never misses them either.

That is to say, the truth in the beginning at least.

Just under two weeks into the new schedule that they had built for themselves, Sebastian’s phone goes off whilst he’s on the subway. He’s on his way back from an afternoon study group that he’s just gotten out of with a few of his college friends, and Sebastian would gladly admit that he was very much looking forward to finally returning back to his apartment for the day.

He doesn’t think anything out of the ordinary about the message he receives at first. The subway is packed so Sebastian finds himself standing, trying to balance his bag on one shoulder whilst trying to avoid bumping into any of the people that are also standing around him. It takes him a little bit of time to fish his phone out of his pocket to see who it is, and it’s not until he gets to read the sender information as _‘Kurt’_ staring back at him that his brow creases slightly in bewilderment. Curious as to why Kurt was messaging him he opens the message, yet when he discovers what’s written there Sebastian can’t help but to feel a sense of disappointment suddenly wash over him quickly.

**Kurt:** _I won’t be able to make our schedule for Skype for tonight. Late event happening at work, been called in to lend a hand. Sorry :( Rain-check instead? x_

Sebastian knows even when he’s finished reading the message that it’s not Kurt’s fault that he’s had to cancel, and he knows that there’s nothing either of them can really do about it either. After all, it had been an expected scenario that they had told themselves to prepare for, one in which dates and preplanned calls in advance could end up being missed simply by accident during their time apart from one another, and Sebastian knew that. Really, he did.

It was just that he had been looking forward to their scheduled Skype date that evening all day, so much so that it had been something that had helped to pull him through what had felt like the tedious pattern of attending his classes and spending all the more hours after that studying the same material that he’s been looking at for weeks now. And to suddenly have that expectation and excitement gone so quickly and so easily; well. Sebastian couldn’t really do anything to help try and stop the wave of disappointment that he felt from the news.

But it was out of his control, and by the sound and what he could gather from the tone of the short message Kurt had sent him, something that was out of Kurt’s control also. So, instead of letting his disappointment eat away at him too much, Sebastian decides to do what is probably the right and proper thing to do instead. He accepts the obstacle that they’re met with for the time being, keeping in mind that there was always the good and strong possibility that they could arrange another time to go ahead with the plan they had made between them originally. He let’s out a sigh before quickly typing out a response to Kurt’s message, and after he’s finished Sebastian puts his phone away once more.

**Sebastian:** _No problem. We’ll just have to find another time that’s convenient for us both instead. Don’t work too hard tonight, okay?_

Sebastian attempts to ignore the way that his disappointment continues to stir around inside his stomach as well as the way that he can’t help but feel as if the text had been an omen for things that he should prepare himself for, instead trying to focus his thoughts on what it is that he could do now to fill the gap of free time that is now present before him. Between his thoughts, Sebastian knows that it’s likely Kurt will properly decide to call him the next morning to see how he is, and that by that time, the feelings that are present within him now would have more than likely faded away completely. He knows that there was a good chance that the next morning things would more than likely seem all the better than they were currently, and so that’s the thought that Sebastian tries to continue holding onto, and that he tries to keep reminding himself of.


	3. Chapter 3

Things don’t really improve much once the first domino is put into place and ready to fall at the right moment. 

Both Kurt and Sebastian find themselves frequently attempting to sort through their schedules in search of more convenient times to organise any on-going postponed Skype calls together, yet with the way in which workloads only continue to be on the increase between them both it usually isn’t until stolen moments on weekends that they actually manage to find the times that suit them.

Sebastian’s college work feels as if it swamps him, swallowing him up and sapping up the majority of what used to be free time for him. The more that he finds he needs to focus on it in order to pass the class, the more stressed he feels about it all. Yet even with that extra pressure pushing down on him in an almost suffocating manner, Sebastian still tries to push some time aside to focus on Kurt and how it is that he’s doing in his own work. Speaking with Kurt whenever he feels like he’s under so much strain has always provided Sebastian with an odd sort of relaxation, as if the sight and presence of his boyfriend was enough to calm him and give him some much needed time to breathe. The fact that Kurt wasn’t just a cab drive away or available on the other end of a phone right now like he usually would be worked against Sebastian and what it was he had found he had grown used to, and Sebastian felt that he was struggling to try and find something else that could give him the similar feeling of relief that Kurt’s presence always managed to provide for him.

However, although Sebastian was still managing to make the time for Kurt and what was happening within his life over in Milan, Sebastian couldn’t help but to feel somewhat that the same was not able to be said for Kurt himself when it came to making the time for him. For example, on the occasions where they found that they could Skype with one another for an hour or so in the evening, a large majority of the time was usually spent with Kurt filling Sebastian in on everything and anything possible that was work related. Kurt shared very little more with Sebastian in those conversations other than what was going on in Milan for him, yet although Sebastian could admit that a slight uneasy sensation of annoyance had slowly began to eat away at his insides ever since he’d made the observation, he also can’t help but to feel some weird sense of joy at the very least whenever he saw the expression on Kurt’s face. That expression that so often made Kurt smile, his eyes shining in excitement from whatever it was he would be talking about through the screen that separated the two of them.

Sebastian finds that his annoyance at Kurt usually fell once he realises that even if he were able to say anything edgeways about himself and his own life with Kurt’s every growing enthusiasm about his own successes, there is very little of interest happening in his own life that is actually honestly worth sharing. Aside from his own work and the select amount of time in which he’s in the company of some of his friends, Sebastian doesn’t have anything quite as exciting to share in their conversations as Kurt does, and so he finds himself adapting once more to become _the listener_ whenever they spoke. He tries not to be too bothered about it when he makes that revelation either, telling himself that he feels a sense of relief just at being able to spend his time speaking to Kurt once more, considering that catching him when he’s available is like catching gold dust from the air.

The relief Sebastian finally feels after getting to speak to (and somewhat see) Kurt again doesn’t ever seem to last for very long however, as usually during the week that follows Kurt ends up cancelling something else that they’d organised together. Skype dates, scheduled phone calls, they all come second place when it comes to Kurt’s work, and as Kurt’s cancellations and excuses about being kept busy at work continue to slap Sebastian in the face again and again, Sebastian can’t help but to feel his own paranoia begin to creep up and nag at him from where it lays dormant at the back of his mind. As the same routine continues the paranoia grows, and instead of trying to accept the events for what they were like he had done the first time Kurt had cancelled something between them, instead of trying to accept the events for what they were, Sebastian begins to find himself attempting to push Kurt into seeing if there isn’t any other way of manoeuvring around things so that they didn’t end up cancelling their plans so easily. As much as he finds himself pushing however Kurt never budges, and instead Sebastian is yet again left with more apologies and promises to reschedule for a time that’s better for Kurt. Sebastian knows that what’s happening between them is boarding on problematic, and so his disgruntlement only continues to grow. 

* * *

“How come you can’t ever seem to reschedule or find someone else to fill in for you when things get hectic for you at your work?”

The question leaves Sebastian’s lips without much forethought the next time that they’re finally talking to each other over Skype. It manages to catch Kurt  -- who had just finished talking through something whilst moving his hands animatedly around him via the image on Sebastian’s screen -- off guard, and Sebastian silently watches him – and his reactions -- as he waits for a response. 

“Well …” Kurt begins. “I’ve only really been working there for a few weeks. I can hardly turn down their requests for extra help at this early point now, can I? I mean, don’t you think that would leave somewhat of a bad impression on me if I _did_ do that? 

“Maybe.” Sebastian shrugs. “But like you just said yourself, you’ve only been there for a mere handful of _weeks_ ,” He pauses for a second, frowning slightly before picking out the appropriate words for what it is he wanted to say. “Don’t you think calling you and not any of the other people that have worked there for a lot longer than you is sort of taking advantage of things?”

_Taking advantage of_ you _and your current position there._ Sebastian thinks, but doesn’t voice aloud. 

“No … not really,” Kurt answers cautiously. “Especially since I’m _not_ the only person that they call into work whenever they need help. They call others in too, and honestly, I don’t think I even really get called in to help all that often, honestly.”

“Really?” Sebastian asks, rising a disbelieving eyebrow and aiming it at Kurt then. “Because it sure doesn’t feel that way to me.”

“Excuse me?” Kurt replies. The tone of his voice causes Sebastian to let out a sigh, knowing that he has to start treading carefully in the discussion now so as not to upset Kurt or have him take what it is that he’s trying to get through to him in the wrong way.

“Look,” Sebastian finally says after a long, thought out pause, his expression a mixture of both frustration and tiredness. “I’m just saying. I sort of feel that; well -- that at the moment a lot of our plans are either getting cancelled completely or delayed all the time because your work decides to demand more of your time at the very last minute possible. And I know that your work is important to you, and I get that. Believe me, I do. But … I’d kind of like not to get my hopes up about finally being able to talk to you again, only to have them shot down like an hour before we’re supposed to actually _talk_ to one another. And it would be nice for us I think to do what we originally said we’d do before you left for this placement, which was to put some time aside for the both of us that lasts more than just whenever the weekend rolls around. I don’t care if it’s only for an hour in the evening during the week or something, I think that it’ll still work out to be good for us either way.”

“Bas…” Sebastian hears Kurt say, response still as cautious as it had been before.

There’s a pause after Kurt speaks his name, and Sebastian realises that it’s because at some point during saying what he had to, he had ducked his head so as not to be looking at Kurt directly. He slowly moves his head and glances up to see Kurt through the screen again, and Sebastian can see when he’s facing him that Kurt’s expression seems to hold the same puzzlement that Sebastian himself is feeling deep within himself. He continues to watch Kurt move his hand to rub over his face almost tiredly, before letting it move behind his neck to work at a kink that was there from the way that he’s been sitting in his chair.

“I’m trying here, okay? It’s difficult, I know it is, but I really am. But I mean -- what am I supposed to do to make this situation that we’re in better right now? The majority of my time at the moment is spent either working or trying to find my footing around this city, and even when it comes to the moments when I _am_ available to talk to you during the week I _still_ can’t because our time zones are so different from one another that they end up clashing. By the time I’ve finished with work or have a few hours to wait until I have to go in in the mornings, you’re either asleep yourself or busy with your own commitments, and those are things that I don’t want to interrupt or take you away from.”

“Don’t worry about that Kurt,” Sebastian says with a slight huff. “You know that my plans for study groups right now change pretty much week from week with little to no notice, and that my going out with friends is limited right now what with all the work I’m focusing on over here for myself. Just -- try and get in contact with me if you know for sure that you’re going to be available one day. If I can I’ll pick up, and if you’re not sure about calling me then just send a text or something first. That way, you’ll know if it’s a good time for us to talk or not. I don’t want you to worry that you might interrupt me in the middle of something, but I do want us to just _talk more_.”

“And I want that too, you know I do,” Kurt answers earnestly. “But sometimes it’s just not that practical to do so. I don’t like calling you when I’m not sure what your schedule is because I know what you’re like. I know you, Sebastian, and I know that you’d blow off an important study group if I was suddenly available to talk.”

Sebastian doesn’t have much of a response to that. It’s the truth and they both know it, but it doesn’t mean that Sebastian has to like it. He just wants to be able to talk to Kurt more after all, or even just to have the opportunity to have those silly skype dates that they’d planned more often than just on weekends. He also knows that them being in two different timezones from one another isn’t helping their situation in any way, as it meant that Kurt was usually already well into his day by the time that Sebastian wakes up to start his, and that usually by the time he’s thinking about preparing dinner, Kurt’s usually sleeping.

“We need to try something different,” Sebastian finally answers. He feels like in a way he’s been inching close and closer towards a dead end, yet he knows for certain that their communication definitely needs to improve from the terrible state that it’s currently in. “It’s been three weeks, Kurt. Shouldn’t we have -- I don’t know, settled more into a proper rhythm of things by now, somehow?”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think there’s really a handbook available out there about what stage we should be at in this sort of situation.”

Sebastian hears Kurt let out a small chuckle from the other side of the screen, but the sound and the attempt from Kurt to make a small joke out of things has him ducking his head and staring at the keyboard again, frowning deeply. He doesn’t feel like laughing, not when he’s trying to find a solution to what’s going on between the two of them lately. He’s trying to be serious, and rational, yet Sebastian can’t help but feel as if things are bothering him a lot more than they’re bothering Kurt, and for some reason that upsets him. Shouldn’t they both be equally as upset about the topic at hand? Why does it seem to be affecting them both so differently?

Kurt seems to notice that his joke hadn’t had the best effect on Sebastian or his mood, as it quickly drifts off into the silence that’s surrounded them yet again. The air is awkward between them, something that it hasn’t been for quite some time, and just sensing it has Sebastian feeling as if he’s choking, wishing that he could handle long distance problems better than he seems to be handling the current one that presented right before his very eyes. Eventually he hears a heavy sigh come from the computer, causing him to look up at it again and meeting Kurt’s equally tired expression. 

“I have a late lunch set for Wednesday,” Kurt says. “There’s a meeting with some fashion executives that afternoon that I’m sitting in on, but I should have an hour free afterwards. You said before that Wednesday’s are the best days for you, right? So I’ll call you then, and we’ll talk, alright?”

“Can you really promise that this call won’t be cancelled or pushed aside if something more important comes along? Because I don’t want to get my hopes up for something that has a possibility of not happening in any way, Kurt. Not again. I’ve done that about four times over these past two weeks already, and it really, really sucks.”

“Sebastian,” Kurt begins, before letting out another heavy sigh again. Sebastian watches as Kurt seems to slump back and down into his chair even more, noticing the way that his eyes glance up towards the ceiling for a brief moment before focusing his attention again on him through the screen. “ _Nothing_ is more important to me than hearing from you right now. Yes, I’ll admit that I’ve had to cancel plans between us a few times before now, but it doesn’t make you any less important.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment of what it is that you’re saying, you’re still managing to avoid answering the actual question.” Sebastian pauses, focusing his attention on Kurt and trying to read his actions. “Can you promise that this call won’t be cancelled?”

For a long moment they both watch each other, reading each other’s expression and seeing what’s hidden there. Sebastian half expects Kurt to flinch under the stare, to look away and say that no, it’s not something he knows for certain that he can promise to him. As he considers the possibility of that happening Sebastian doesn’t really know if he’d be relieved and appreciative at such honesty from him or if he’d be upset by it, but he doesn’t have long in which to lose his thoughts in them as eventually Kurt is shifting in his seat, moving so that he was sitting up a little bit straighter.

“I promise,” Kurt says, his attention still focused intently on Sebastian. “I won’t cancel this call.”

It’s not the answer Sebastian was expecting, and if he’s honest to himself there’s a brief sensation of surprise blossoming from within him. Yet Sebastian feels as if a small weight has been lifted from him at Kurt’s promise, enough that he finds he can finally wear a small, relieved smile upon his lips once more.

“Okay,” He answers, letting out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding within him before. “Then I guess -- we’ll talk on Wednesday then.”

Hope begins to rise within him, and Sebastian listens to the voice at the back of his mind wishing that its hope that’s not going to end up going misplaced.  

* * *

Wednesday comes around in the blink of an eye, and Sebastian spends the majority of his morning dreading the sound of an incoming text alert, or the vibration of his phone going off from where it sits in the pocket of his pants. 

Although Kurt had promised that he wouldn’t cancel their call, Sebastian still can’t help but to carry an edge of nervousness about him, almost as if he’s been preparing himself for the worst case scenario. Yet with Sebastian keeping busy with the things that he usually does early on a Wednesday morning, along with the hours ticking past that nervousness begins to dissipate slightly, to the point where Sebastian almost feels as if he’s allowed to start growing excited at the prospect of Kurt’s call. 

That feeling doesn’t settle in Sebastian for long, however. 

At about a quarter to ten Sebastian feels the vibration of his phone from where it still remained sat in his pocket, but the vibration doesn’t last long enough to signify that of a phone call. The excitement and hope that had been cautiously building up within him quickly plummets again, and before he reaches for his phone Sebastian takes in a sharp inhale of breath, preparing himself for what he knows will inevitably be written on his now newely unread message. 

Cautiously, Sebastian goes to retrieve his phone from his pocket. Once he slides the screen and unlocks it his eyes automatically drift onto the message notification that’s staring straight back at him, Kurt’s picture accompanied next to it. The sight is like a punch to his stomach, and Sebastian finds himself hesitating before finally pressing his finger to open the message. At first he doesn’t register the words that are staring back at him, he doesn’t even _want_ to register them _or_ what they mean, but after a long moment of staring into space he focuses, knowing that the sooner he reads Kurt’s message the more he can know how to deal with the repercussions of what he finds, treating it as if he were quickly ripping off a band-aid. 

**Kurt:** _The meetings running over longer than anticipated. I don’t know how long I’ll be before I can pull myself free from it. I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you later, I promise. x_

Reading the message doesn’t do anything other than leave Sebastian feeling numb inside. If he were thinking logically, then he would have been able to brush things aside again like he had so many times before.

But he wasn’t thinking logically.

Sebastian had been pushed aside in favour of Kurt’s work schedule one time too many, and this time was worse than any other. This time, Kurt had promised. He had _promised_ not to cancel, not to bail on him. And he had broken that promise. He had broken it even after Sebastian had made sure that it was something Kurt knew he couldn’t break. 

And the worst thing of it was from what was staring right back at him. Not the text itself, but what was written within it. Two words. Two little words that had meant both a mixture of trust and truth to Sebastian, but apparently had meant very little to Kurt. 

_I promise._

Sebastian held no hope that Kurt would carry out his word on that second promise of his, either.

* * *

At one in the afternoon Sebastian’s time, his phone goes off again. 

This time the sound lasts for longer, signifying that it was an incoming call instead of a text. Sebastian glanced at it from where it sat beside him on the breakfast counter, twisting his fork into the bowl of noodles he had cooked for himself for his own lunch. The sight of Kurt’s image lights up the screen once again, and for a moment Sebastian has half a mind to let it ring on, almost as if he wants to give Kurt a taste of how it feels to be pushed aside for once, to be considered second place to a job. But the more the phone continues to ring the more irritated he becomes by it’s sound, until eventually he gives in and picks it up while he has a chance. 

“Sebastian!” He hears as soon as he answers, noting the frantic way in which Kurt’s voice can be heard over the phone. “Oh thank god, for a moment there I was worried you wouldn’t pick up. Look, I’m so sorry about earlier, but the executives that were visiting us here arrived later than they said they would. And then the entire meeting was pushed to run even longer, regardless of the fact that it was supposed to be in a scheduled timeslot. I tried to get out of it -- but I didn’t want to seem rude or unprofessional by doing so, especially considering I was only shadowing --”

Sebastian continues to listen to Kurt rush out what he has to say over the phone, his words almost breathless, as if he was urgent to explain everything that had happened. As he let’s Kurt talk he watches as he twirls his fork twirl around in the bowl of noodles, letting Kurt speak for a moment before letting out a small huffing sound, rolling his eyes before scrunching his nose up in distaste.

Excuses. That’s all they were. Just excuses.

“Typical.”

Kurt pauses in his explanation at the sound of the interruption, and Sebastian can tell that he’s likely frowning on the other side of the phone. 

“E - excuse me?” He hears him ask.

Before, the sound would have had Sebastian wanting to spare Kurt’s feelings, wanting him not to feel bad about missing the call they had previously agreed upon. But this time was different. It wasn’t just about the call; it was about much more than that. 

“I said, _typical,_ ” Sebastian repeats, almost calmly. He pauses for a moment, giving Kurt the time to say something if he wanted to, yet the shock seems to be too much. So he continues on. “The first thing you do when you call -- which, may I point out, is another _delayed_ call too -- is start going on and on and _on_ about your work. Do you think I give a shit, Kurt? Do you think I _really_ _care_ about whatever lame excuse you’ve spent all this time preparing for me?”

“It’s not -- I’m not making an _excuse_ \--”

“You _are_ making an excuse!” Sebastian interrupts, his voice rising. He throws the fork down into his half eaten bowl of food, forgetting about it momentarily. “It’s making an excuse and you know it is! I don’t _care_ about what happened, I don’t give a _fuck_ about some dumb ass meeting being delayed! All I care about is that you _promised_ something to me, and you couldn’t do the _one thing_ that I asked of you! Just _one simple little thing!_ ”

“Oh, so you’d rather I make myself look bad at work then, I assume?” Kurt shot back, his tone sounding just as annoyed and angry as Sebastian’s did, such a contrast from what it had been only moments before. “I couldn’t get out of that meeting, no matter how much I may or may not have wanted to. It was important, and I was pushing it by simply texting you to let you know what was going on. But you want to know why I did that? Why I sent you a message? I sent it to make sure you _knew_ not to sit around expecting a call that I couldn’t give to you at the time. Just like I’ve been doing _every time_ I’ve had to cancel on one of our plans for one reason or another. I might not be able to make them like I say I can sometimes, but I’ve _never_ not left you hanging, waiting for hours until I finally could call!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. If the situations were reversed, I would _make_ the time for you. I would make sure to set aside an hour out of my day to call you, even if it meant that I had to make myself scarce from some stupid meeting. The difference is, you’re so damn obsessed with your work that you just don’t care about anything else other than that!”

“ _Obsessed?_ I am not _obsessed_ with my work. In what way am I _obsessed_ with it?”

“Are you being _serious_ right now?” Sebastian asked, letting out a small laugh to himself before continuing. “In what way _aren’t_ you obsessed with it? If you’re not _at_ work you’re _talking_ about it constantly. Come to think of it I’m pretty damn sure it’s the _only_ thing that we _do_ talk about anymore -- and that’s _when_ we talk! For so long now that’s all that it’s been -- you and this _fucking stupid_ placement of yours. I mean for _fucks sake_ Kurt, you live in _New York_ of all places, why the _fuck_ do you need to be all the way in Milan for a fucking work placement in _fashion?_ It’s ridiculous!”

“No it’s not! You know what is ridiculous right now though? _You,_ ” Kurt shoots back. 

“ _Me? I’m_ ridiculous?” Sebastian asks, rolling his eyes again as he does so. “Well enlighten me then Kurt; exactly _how_ am _I_ ridiculous?”

“You’re ridiculous because you’ve never been supportive of this. Never. Not even in the beginning.”

Sebastian freezes for a second then, before hearing Kurt continue on.

“What, you think I didn’t _notice_? Dealing with you even when I was in New York was a nightmare the minute you learnt I could be coming out here for a few months. It was like walking on _eggshells_ around you, Sebastian, and I couldn’t mention anything about Milan regardless of if I wanted to or not. Any moment I did, you’d freeze and close up, and the discussion was pretty much over before it was even really begun. But you know what? It was _never_ your decision to make. If you really cared about me and my happiness, you would have been supportive of me from the start. You would have been happy for me. You would have _respected_ my decision, and tried to work with it. Not make it unnecessarily harder. It’s like you’ve been setting me up to fail from day one no matter _what_ I did.”

“Respected your decision -- what do you call what I’ve been _doing_ the past few weeks since you’ve left then? Have I not been _trying_ to _work_ with it? To _respect_ it?”

“No, you haven’t,” Kurt replied quickly, simply. “You’ve been doing what you’ve always been good at doing: and that’s pretending. You’ve been _pretending_ to be supportive, _pretending_ to have an interest in the things that I’ve been doing out here. You don’t even really _listen_ to the things I have to say half the time --”

“Because all you _talk_ about is work!” Sebastian interrupts again, frustration growing. “Maybe you’ve forgotten on your travels all across the globe Kurt, but I don’t give a _shit_ about clothes or fashion on the best of times, let alone hearing about it twenty-four seven.”

“See _this_ is what I mean! _This!_ ” Kurt says, his voice sounding exasperated from the other side of the phone. “You’re always thinking about yourself. _You_ don’t care about clothes or fashion, but _I do_. _You_ don’t care about my work, but _I do_. _You_ _don’t care_ about the things that _I care_ about, the things that are important to me, that mean as much to me as what you do, because you’re too busy thinking about yourself all the time. Well think about _me_ for once, and about how _I_ possibly feel right now.” 

“Why should I? What exactly could _you_ possibly be feeling right now that’s so bad compared to how I’ve been feeling? You’ve got everything you care about and need with you over there in Italy!”

“ ** _I don’t have you!!_** ”

Kurt shouts the words out, causing Sebastian to stop and freeze once more. He frowns, confusion and anger clouding the forefront of his mind, and on the other end of the phone he can hear Kurt breathing heavily, as if he’s trying to calm himself down; trying to stop himself from crying. 

“I’m alone, Sebastian. I don’t have you, or my friends, or my family. No one I care about is out here with me. I am by myself, living on a time zone where I’m either working or asleep when nearly everyone else I know is awake or free from the things that keep them busy throughout the day. I don’t get to talk to you about my day over coffee, or at night when we’re in bed together, or in front of the television like I’m used to doing, so I do it over the phone instead, during the times that I _know_ that I can. My schedule is so unpredictable that I don’t even know what’s coming or going the next day for me at work, but I try my best. I try to keep in connection with you. With my father. With Rachel. With Blaine. But when you make it _so difficult_ …”

A pause, and Sebastian can hear Kurt suck in a breath, before he’s continuing once more. 

“You frustrate me. I’m trying my best here, but it’s _still_ not good enough for you. And I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m the only one trying here sometimes, and I shouldn’t have to feel that way. _You_ promised _me_ when I decided to do this that we’d be okay, but ever since you said that -- I haven’t seen much of you carrying that promise out for us. You’ve never embraced my choice to take the offer up here, or really accepted it when I told you what my decision was. And if you can’t even do that, if there’s resentment between us due to my own individual choices for what it is that I want for myself -- how can we _really_ be okay?”

Sebastian’s jaw clenched at Kurt’s words. The was a small pang of guilt making itself known at the pit of his stomach, yet Sebastian pushed it aside for the time being, not wanting to let it free. It was something he didn’t want to feel or acknowledge at the time, not when Kurt wasn’t getting it. Not when he didn’t understand how things were from Sebastian’s side of the court.

“If you really think that I haven’t been trying here either Kurt, then we really _do_ have a problem,” Sebastian replied through gritted teeth, the grip on his phone tightening, turning his knuckles white under the pressure. “I have been trying _so hard_ to support you -- but there’s a difference. There’s a difference between supporting the decisions of someone you love, and putting yourself second above everything else. And I can’t keep putting myself second for you. _For this._ ”

There’s a moment of silence between them, tension thick in the air around Sebastian and the empty kitchen he’s standing in. He can hear the muffled sounds of Kurt’s breathing from over the phone, the only thing that signified that Kurt hadn’t hung up on him. The silence was so deafening between them that the ticking of the clock sounded louder than usual. It sounded intruding almost, and Sebastian let his attention focus on the sound of it, mixing the rhythmic tick-tock with that of the sound of Kurt’s long breathes as he waited for him to respond. 

Eventually he heard Kurt suck in another deep breath, and in response Sebastian breathed in deeply through his nose. For some reason Sebastian felt as if he were preparing for something big – was it because he expected Kurt to continue shouting at him? For Kurt to throw more accusations of how he’s not trying hard enough to tackle things between them? For Kurt to throw more spiteful words his way that told him he wasn’t supportive or understanding enough towards him and his choices? He wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but Sebastian knew that he was standing on the edge of something potentially dangerous.

“I think --” Sebastian finally heard Kurt begin to say. He paused slightly, breathing in deeply once more before speaking again, clearer this time. 

“I think we should take a break. From … from being us right now. Because I can’t keep battling with this. I just -- _I can’t._ ”

At Kurt’s words Sebastian’s eyes closed tightly. He sucked in a deep breath of his own once more, and after taking a moment to compose himself, replied.

“Fine.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of what happened in chapter three.
> 
> Kurt himself doesn't really show up in this chapter since we're focusing on Sebastian's POV in this story, but have no fear. We'll be able to explore his feelings about what happens, as I am considering writing a small piece from his POV of the events of the few days following his argument with Sebastian. I am uncertain if it'll be a standalone post on this site or just uploaded here, as it's something I'm still currently debating.

It doesn’t dawn on Sebastian what’s actually happened between Kurt and himself until much later afterwards.

For the rest of the evening after the call, Sebastian can’t help but to feel frustrated and angry still at the conversation that they’d had. He tries to absorb himself into his college work for a few hours after he’s eaten again to try and take his mind off of things, yet with how worked up he is he finds it difficult to really concentrate. Eventually he gives up, deciding to go to bed earlier than usual. During the hours where he can’t sleep, his mind much too active and awake to allow him the luxury of resting, Sebastian lets himself watch mindless television until eventually, he does manage to doze off.

The next morning he wakes, noting that the television is turned off. He must have woken up at some point during the night to shut it down, as the last thing he really remembers is what he was in the middle of watching beforehand. He’s sleepy and tired still, reaching up with a hand to rub away at the sleep that had managed to build up within his eyes. One of the first thoughts to come into his mind is that of what the time is, and he wonders for a moment if maybe Kurt would have texted when suddenly, he freezes.

Memories of the previous day’s events suddenly rush to the forefront his mind, hitting him hard like a freight train. He remembers Kurt’s text and his disappointment about what it was that it had said. He remembers Kurt calling him later in an attempt to make things somewhat better. As well as that though, he also remembers the argument that they’d had.

_The argument_.

_'... You’re always thinking about yourself …’_

_‘... You’ve been doing what you’ve always been doing: pretending ...’_

_‘… Think about_ me _for once, and about how_ I feel _right now ...’_

_‘...  What exactly could_ you _possibly be feeling right now that’s so bad? ...’_

As each word reverberates in his head, it acts as a sort of wake up call to what he had been missing before. It is as if the words hadn’t quite managed to reach to Sebastian’s mind before, that instead they were moving through dense, murky water to make their meanings clear to him, and now they had finally made it to their destination. The reality of it all was hitting him at once, crushing him from the inside.

And then he remembered the most important part of what had happened the previous day.

Kurt had said that he wanted them to go on a break.

And he had agreed. _Agreed_.

Sebastian let out a loud groan then, burying his head into his hands and letting his fingertips thread into the ends of his messy bed hair.

Why had he _agreed_ to having a break in his relationship with Kurt? That wasn’t what he had wanted, in fact it was the furthest thing from it completely. Sebastian had been wanting them to work on becoming closer over the distance that was currently separating them from one another, he had wanted to keep things as normal as was possible between them. He hadn’t wanted to create an even bigger distance than what was already beginning to grow there between them. Yet somehow, he had managed to do exactly that.

And why? Due to what could only be described as his own blind anger and annoyance? By simply losing his temper when he was already upset and disappointed by Kurt not being able to make another schedule that they’d already put in place for one another?

Sebastian had always been prone to having a quick temper, that was of no news to anyone. And Kurt knew that well enough himself by now, considering the amount of times he’d either seen first hand or even been on the receiving end of Sebastian’s temper whenever he was severely pissed off. Kurt knew, he _knew_ exactly what Sebastian could be like when his patience was tried and when he felt that he was trapped. And the events of the previous day had been due to those exact factors, due to Sebastian feeling like he held no control over the situation which he saw himself faced with on a day by day basis. It was as if he were a cornered animal, ready to snap and fight back to gain back the control and sense of normality that he so often craved lately.

But even if that were so, and even if he had snapped, it didn’t mean that he had meant all of what he had said. Kurt knew that Sebastian said things he later often wished he could take back, knew that his boyfriend had a wicked tongue that could spit out words that were sharp and piercing whenever he felt the need to be defensive. It didn’t mean that he never regretted speaking them once he’d had a chance to really think about what he’d said.

Thinking back on things now, Sebastian really _did_ regret saying half the things that he had done the day before.

Of course, there was some truth in the words he had spoken then also: Sebastian couldn’t help but to wince painfully at the memory of Kurt saying that he hadn’t really been trying to be happy for him -- he _had_ tried, but deep inside himself Sebastian knew he could have really tried _harder_ to make it seem like his support was legitimate. Wasn’t that the point of what Kurt had been trying to get across to him? He also couldn’t help but to still feel as if all he and Kurt had ever really spoken about as of late was Kurt’s work.

But some of the other things that he had said …

Sebastian didn’t _hate_ clothes and fashion. Sure, he wasn’t as enthusiastic about the topic as Kurt was, but he liked it enough to care that it made Kurt happy at the end of the day. He liked it enough that he didn’t mind his boyfriend talking about it, knowing that whenever he did Kurt would wear a bright, natural smile whilst always managing to look so animated and excited as he spoke. He liked fashion enough to know Kurt loved it, and he would enjoy it knowing that it made Kurt happy and comfortable enough that he could talk and share his interests with Sebastian.

Sebastian also didn’t out rightly hate the placement that Kurt was currently on. He still wished it was within New York City, or at least closer to him so they didn’t have to work so hard against one another’s schedules, but Sebastian had been happy that Kurt had managed to snag himself the opportunity for himself in the first place. He knew deep down that it would do great things for both Kurt and his career, and despite all his other lingering fears, Sebastian was _so proud_ of Kurt for continuing to reach his dreams. He didn’t think the placement was stupid, or useless. He just resented the fact that it took Kurt away from him, hated the fact that it had also managed to turn himself into … _this_. This monster of a boyfriend that he had become.

Peeking one eye out at a small gap between his fingers, Sebastian glances towards where his phone sits beside his bed. For a second he contemplates calling Kurt, talking to him and trying to fix the mess that he had helped to create. But he quickly shoves the thought away. For one, he’s sure that Kurt would probably be at work by now, and secondly, if Kurt knows him well then he knows Kurt well, too. Sebastian expects that he’s the last person Kurt really wants to hear from at the moment, especially if the argument had been so bad as to have him wanting them to take a break in their relationship. Kurt was probably hurt from what had been said, and Sebastian knew that when Kurt was hurt, it was best to leave him alone.

Instead, he flops back against his pillows once more, letting out a long, frustrated sigh to himself as he did so. Sebastian had no idea what to do, or where to go from here. Kurt was his first real relationship, at least the first one that he’d bothered putting this much effort into. Up until now, if he did something wrong Kurt had always been there, by his side to guide him, to help show him the way forward. But now he was alone. He was alone, and Kurt wasn’t there to help make things clearer for him, and Sebastian was lost. What were you supposed to do in these scenarios in relationships? Was there a time limit to how long you’re supposed to go without communication? How was he supposed to fix things between them? And how did he get their relationship back on track? After all, Sebastian didn’t want Kurt to eventually call it quits entirely, what would he do then if that ever happened?

Sebastian felt sick at the thought of Kurt breaking up with him before he was able to fix things. He hadn’t felt like there was so much distance between them for a long time, and the one thing that would help him with his predicament just wasn’t possible right now. He had no idea what Kurt could possibly be thinking about across the ocean from him, and that terrified him to his very core. He hated the fact that it felt like the distance between them stretched much deeper than just land and water, that it felt like it was rooted right within them both

_“Fuuuuck,”_ Sebastian groaned again, letting his hands rub into his eyes once more.

Sebastian didn’t know how he was going to deal with this.

* * *

When his phone rings the next day, Sebastian is hesitant to answer at first. He’s in the middle of working through something for college, only turning his head slightly to furrow his brow and glare at the offending object to begin with. When he reads from the caller id and discovers who it is that’s calling him however, Sebastian can’t help but to roll his eyes and reach over for it, accepting the call as he lifts the phone to his ear.

“What do you want?”

“Well that wasn’t the warm, welcoming response I was hoping for from you.”

Sebastian let’s out an irritated sigh, reaching up to rub at his temple before replying.

“Fine. Hello Blaine. Now, why are you calling me?”

It was not unusual for Blaine to ever call Sebastian, considering that the two of them were rather good friends. However, Blaine did have a habit of calling whenever Sebastian was irritated about something, and with Blaine’s cheerful nature about him, it did nothing to help improve Sebastian’s mood on those occasions.

“I just wanted to check how you’re doing, considering that I haven’t really seen you lately. College work kicking your ass that hard, huh?”

“You did not call me to talk about my college work,” Sebastian responds, knowing that Blaine is simply beating around the bush of whatever it is that he _really_ wants to talk about. Sebastian turns his attention back to the page he had been working through beforehand, letting his pen touch the paper again as he writes. “Why don’t you just get to the point and tell me what it is that you’re calling for, seeing as I’m not really in the mood for exchanging pleasantries today.”

“So much for small talk,” Blaine comments. Sebastian ignores him. Instead, he continues to write, waiting until Blaine begins to pick up the conversation again. “So, I might have spoken to Kurt --”

Sebastian can’t help but to interrupt at that, letting out a small huff of laughter. He shakes his head, telling himself that he should have really been expecting this phone call, knowing that news travels fast within Kurt’s circle of friends.

“Of course you have.”

“I just -- he didn’t say much of whatever it is that’s bothering him, but he said enough that I know it’s something big.”

Sebastian stops writing then, closing his eyes tightly and frowning as he leans back in his chair. His hand continued to move in small circles upon his forehead, attempting to relieve some of the tension that had slowly been gathering there ever since Blaine had started to talk.

“Look, Blaine --” Sebastian interrupts again, wanting to stop Blaine from continuing before the conversation got too far. “I know exactly why you’re calling. And I’m sorry, but it’s not something that I really want to talk about with you, or with anyone right now.”

“But Seb,” Blaine replies. “I’m just concerned about you both.”

“Yes, but you don’t have to be.”

“Of course I do. You’re both my friends -- my _best_ friends. If one or the both of you are unhappy for any reason, I want to know. To see if there’s anything I can do or if I can help in any way.”

“And what can you do?” Sebastian asks, tone sounding somewhat annoyed. “What can you _possibly_ do? This isn’t a matter that you can simply fix or lend a hand in, not like some of the others we’ve had Blaine. This is big, and it’s between Kurt and myself. You don’t need to get involved. In fact, you have no right or reason to get yourself involved, because it doesn’t concern you.”

There’s a brief moment of silence among the two of them, until eventually Sebastian hears Blaine let out a sigh of his own from the other side of the line.

“I’m not trying to get involved. You know that. If you want me to leave well enough alone, then I will. I called because I was worried, Seb. I didn’t talk to Kurt for long before he was running off somewhere afterwards, but he didn’t sound like himself, especially not when the topic came to be about the both of you. So I _had_ to call you, because I wanted to see how _you_ were doing.”

At Blaine’s words, Sebastian deflates slightly. He slouches further down into his chair, feeling as if a spring that’s been coiling within him finally releases slightly, letting some of the tension he’s been feeling over the past days dissipate slightly.

“I’m sorry,” He says, his voice betraying how exhausted he really feels about everything that had been happening. “It’s just -- it’s sensitive right now, alright? I don’t really want to talk about it.” Sebastian pauses, swallowing. “But … I’m not okay.”

“Okay,” Blaine answers, and Sebastian knows Blaine well enough to know that he’s probably nodding to himself as he speaks. “Do you -- think that you’ll _be_ okay?”

There’s more behind what Blaine’s asking him. It goes further than how he’s feeling, reaching to what it is that’s happening between himself and Kurt currently. Sebastian knows Blaine is asking but at the same time not asking, respecting Sebastian’s request to not talk about it and allowing him to answer the question how he pleases. He’s offering Sebastian a chance, knowing that Sebastian’s not ready to talk completely about things, and it’s something that Sebastian finds himself needing right now.

“With time, hopefully,” Sebastian answers. It’s the only answer he can give, the only certainty he’s holding on to for himself. Time is what he’s hoping for, time for them to grow, for them to work through this block in the road ahead that they’re facing. Time for Kurt and himself to really think about what’s happening, to work through things in a way that favours the both of them in the end.

“Can we change the subject? This is making me feel slightly uncomfortable right now,” Sebastian asks. He appreciates Blaine for asking, for caring enough to call. But he doesn’t want to keep talking about what’s happening between him and Kurt. Emotions had never been his strongest point of conversation, and even if he had grown a little more open to talking about how he’s feeling to the people that he trusts over the years, it’s still a major thing that he needs to spend time working on. “How’re things between you and what’s-his-name?”

“Oh my god, we’ve been dating for months now and you _still_ can’t remember my boyfriends name,” Blaine answers, and Sebastian can hear him let out a little laugh on the other side of the phone. “How many times have you met him now? Because I know it’s been about three times at the least.”

“It’s not my fault he hasn’t managed to make much of an impression on me,” Sebastian replies, earning another laugh from Blaine that makes him give a small, barely there smile of his own in return.

Talking to Blaine for a while longer gives Sebastian a sense of the normality he’s been missing, allows a chance for him to act as if things aren’t as out of the ordinary as they currently are in his life, if only for a moment. Talking with Blaine had always come naturally, especially more so when they actually managed to get to know one another and became good friends along the way. It was relieving in a way, and although at first Sebastian had been tempted to ignore him when he had seen Blaine calling, he’s glad that he had decided to pick up the phone instead.

It doesn’t remove the ache that he’s feeling within himself from missing Kurt though, and Sebastian knows nothing will. But even so, he can appreciate that Blaine is trying to help not let him focus and wallow in his own despairing emotions, and that he hasn’t pushed too far for the information Sebastian doesn’t feel he’s quite ready to give just yet. If it had been someone else that had called -- like Rachel, for example -- Sebastian knew that he probably wouldn’t have been as lucky as he had been.

“Anyway, I should get going. I’ve got an appointment of my own to get to soon, and it’s not something that I want to be late for.” Blaine pauses as Sebastian gives a small laugh, shaking his head to himself before he hears him continuing. “But before I go -- Seb --”

“Yeah?” Sebastian asks, knowing that Blaine was stalling, obviously trying to decide if he should say whatever it is that he has on his mind or not.

“Things will get better between you and Kurt, I know they will. They always do. I get that it’s difficult now, and that you’re both as stubborn as each other about this, but -- if he hasn’t called within a few days time, call _him_. Because although I said I wasn’t getting involved -- and I’m still not, by the way, this is just my friendly advice -- I can guarantee that however you’re feeling right now, Kurt’s feeling the same way. This isn’t an easy situation for either of you to be going through right now, and I think the distance is making it all the more difficult for you both.”

Sebastian doesn’t really know how to answer that. He knows Blaine means well, but a part of him is telling him that there’s no way Blaine would have said those things if he had known some of the things that Sebastian had said to Kurt. If he knew exactly what had happened between the two of them to cause this rift between them. Blaine had always been bright eyed and hopeful, and Sebastian expected that that hopefulness was what was causing him to be so positive and so sure that things would work themselves out eventually. Sebastian’s brain worked more cynically than that, so he couldn’t help but to find Blaine’s optimism a little bit too difficult for himself to believe.

Still, he knew better than to say anything, and so Sebastian decides to do what he apparently does best: pretend.

“Thanks,” He says, closing his eyes as he does so. “I’ll think about doing that. Right now though, I think it’s best if I just leave well enough alone.”

* * *

Two days pass after his phone call with Blaine, and Sebastian is still no sooner into figuring out what he should do about things between him and Kurt.

Instead, he’s spent more time focusing on his college work, spent the evening beforehand at a study group with some of his college friends, and his morning had been occupied by spending a few hours at the gym alone. Most of his actions are out of nothing more than avoidance; avoidance at facing the reality of what he knows he has to try and fix, avoidance at dealing with emotions he’s not usually used to feeling, and avoidance of spending too much of his time in an apartment that has felt colder and emptier since the argument than when Kurt had even left for New York.

However, Sebastian cannot avoid things all the time, and sometimes he finds himself faced with all the problems, crushing him under the pressure they bring along with them. He’s in his apartment, trying to clean up some of the loose items and dirt that have gathered around over the past few days, if not for something to do then because he knows he can’t turn into one of those hopeless people that allow themselves to live in a pigsty.

It isn’t until he passes his bookshelf that he pauses, noticing something that managed to catch his attention from out of the corner of his eye.

Slowly, he makes his way towards the small little shelf that hung upon the wall, ignoring the small selection of books that it held upon it. Instead, his attention is drawn to a small, brown little bear that has carefully been sat beside them, almost as if he were guarding the books and keeping them safe.

The bear that hadn’t been there four weeks beforehand.

Reaching out with his hand, Sebastian carefully lifts the bear up from where it’s positioned, letting his fingers dance over the soft fabric of it. He pulls it closer towards himself, never letting his eyes leave the small toy, his attention completely and utterly focused on it.

It’s the same bear that Kurt gave him in the car outside of the airport, just before they had to part ways and say goodbye to one another.

Sebastian remembers what they said in the car that day, the moment where he realised what it was that Kurt had surprised him with. He had thought Kurt had been teasing him then, making jokes at his expense about how he would cling to Kurt whenever the fell asleep together. But then Kurt had revealed the real reason as to why he had brought the bear in the first place, and the mood between them in that car then had shifted completely.

_“The point I was trying to make however, is that I brought it so that it could keep you company until I got back.”_

Sebastian had never told Kurt outrightly how he felt about him leaving, that much had been true in what Kurt had said during their argument. However, Sebastian didn’t realise until then just how much attention to him Kurt had really been making, even when it felt like he wasn’t seeing the things that he was feeling at the time. He had been paying attention, enough to know that Sebastian would need comfort while he was gone, enough to buy him the bear for him to show that he still cared about him. For what reason did Sebastian ever think that Kurt would only see half the story of what thoughts were spinning deep within his mind? _Of course_ Kurt would have seen Sebastian’s reluctance at having Kurt leave him over the next few months, and _of course_ Kurt would have noticed the signs that indicated he didn’t want to talk to Kurt about Italy because he couldn’t but to feel that it hurt too much to hear. Kurt had always been attentive to picking up the emotions and feelings of those closest to him, to the point that Sebastian often joked that it was annoying, so why had he been so sure that Kurt hadn’t seen anything this time around?

It didn’t mean that Kurt was entirely blameless in what had happened, not at all. But it did help Sebastian understand more fully about the areas in which he had been wrong himself. Looking at the bear Kurt had given him however also made his heart ache painfully, and Sebastian was sure he knew why that was.

He missed Kurt.

He really, _really_ missed Kurt.

He missed him more now that they weren’t talking at all, knowing that there was a chance that Kurt was still incredibly mad and upset with him. For the first time since the argument had happened, Sebastian really felt the urge to make things right, really wanted to act on that urge. He didn’t want to sweep it under the rug and forget about it for later, for him later was _now_. If he didn’t do something soon, he knew it would become all the more difficult to do anything to fix things later.

He was still scared -- terrified, in fact -- and he didn’t know what to expect, but then did anyone? Did anyone really know what they were doing within relationships? If they did, then relationships would surely always go smoothly for everyone, wouldn’t they? If there was a rulebook for what to do and not to do, wouldn’t everybody be following it almost religiously? He might not have Kurt by his side to help guide him this time, but maybe that’s because he had to learn how to deal and find solutions to these things by himself, without always waiting to rely on someone else to fix things.

Kurt had tried to make Sebastian feel more comfortable and less alone in the beginning. Why couldn’t Sebastian try to be the first out of them both to fix this problem between them now? Even if it was only a small step in that direction, it was something. Wasn’t it?

Maybe, all Sebastian had to do was to simply try.


	5. Chapter 5

Even after coming to his revelation, Sebastian does not end up calling Kurt right away.

Instead, over the next two days that follow Sebastian continues to simply consider the idea more within his mind. Even when he’s in his classes at college he finds himself panning out the various different possible scenarios of what could happen during the phone call between them both, or what it could potentially unravel. On one hand Sebastian see’s that the conversation could end up going well, with them both forgiving one another easily for the harsh words that were spoken in the heat of their frustration during the argument. He sees how things could be afterwards also, and how they could work better and easier together as they continue to deal with the large distance between them. Most importantly, Sebastian sees Kurt telling him that he had never wanted to put their relationship on hold in the first place, and that they were simply words spoken without any real intent behind them.

But Sebastian knows that that scenario is not one that is entirely realistic.

Instead, it is the one that he would _most like_ to happen, if it were ever possible for things to go his own way.

In contrast to the ideal idea he has in his mind, Sebastian can see their conversation going badly again. He doesn’t know what would be the worst scenario to happen, but he has managed to consider two of them; the first being if Kurt and he were to end up arguing with one another yet again, and the second if Kurt were to end their relationship right there and then from over the phone. Realistically Sebastian knows that if Kurt were to end their relationship then he would be the type to do so face to face, but just the very thought itself entering his mind in the first place has Sebastian panicking enough to ignore any real sense of rationality.

The different scenarios he keeps thinking up for what could happen have his thoughts caught in a flurry, almost as if they were all a whirlwind within his mind, and they do very little to reassure Sebastian that calling Kurt is a good idea, yet manage to add a great deal to his own ever growing paranoia.

Yet Sebastian knows in his heart of hearts that the longer he waits, the longer and more difficult it’ll be to fix the problems that continue to linger in the silent air between them both. And Sebastian has more or less already decided that he really does want to at least try and work on fixing them. If he can.

* * *

It takes until late on Tuesday evening for Sebastian to find something that helps push the decision to call Kurt another few steps further.

He’s been trying to kill a little bit of time until he has to leave for a study group, and so Sebastian finds himself scrolling through his feed on Facebook, catching up with anything he’s missed after being away from the website entirely for the past few days. He spots the odd notification from old friends and acquaintances, but nothing that really seems to jump out at him or cause him to pay much attention to what the words actually read. It’s not until he’s finished forming a response to one of the college groups he’s a member of and thinking about logging off that something finally catches his eye, noticing the fresh notification that has appeared on his news feed since refreshing the page.

It’s a notification that also manages to let him know that Kurt had just been online after a long period of being silent on the website also, and that he’d posted something on his own timeline only a few moments ago.

Curious, Sebastian finds himself automatically trailing his eyes to read what it is that Kurt had wrote:  
  
 _‘Managed to squeeze in enough time to visit the_ Fauché _markets today. Found a great bargain on some shoes … I just hope that the price wasn’t a little_ too good _to be true. The label looks legitimate enough however even under my own keen eye, so I’m more or less sure that I have no reason to be terribly suspicious. Maybe I’ve managed to strike some luck out here, finally!’_

As he reads the notification staring before him, the corners of Sebastian’s lips curve upwards slightly into a small, almost barely there ghost of a smile. In his mind he could easily imagine Kurt rushing around a marketplace looking for that perfect piece of clothing or fashion accessory to add to his ever growing collection, until at last letting his eyes rest on something that he adores. He can picture Kurt’s hesitance as to whether the item was the real thing or not, his amazement at the deal of the price that he can buy it at, until finally his eyes would lighten brightly like flickering lights on a Christmas tree in his own excitement.

Sebastian also can’t help but to that if it hadn’t been for the argument that they’d had only a week beforehand, maybe Kurt would even been gushing about his new fashion finds over the phone to him whilst having some time free from all the things that are keeping him busy lately, and that maybe they would be talking in the way that Sebastian had wanted them to do in the first place.

That thought has his stomach feel as if it has just started twisting into knots, as well as giving him the final push that he needed into making his decision.

Sebastian decides, right then, that he has to contact Kurt. And soon.

He glances his eyes to the time at the bottom of his computer screen once more, cursing to himself that it’s more or less time for him to leave if he plans on making it to his study group without being late. Quickly, Sebastian grabs one of the small stacks of post-it notes that he has kept to the side of his laptop, picking up a pen and hurriedly scrawling out a memo to himself that he has to call Kurt first thing in the morning. At least hopefully that way he’ll be able to catch Kurt for enough time to talk to him properly, and with no classes starting early the following morning for him, Sebastian hopes that he and Kurt will finally be able to sort things out between them properly.

Once he finishes writing his note Sebastian get’s up out of his seat, quickly moving around the apartment to gather up the things he needs before he leaves. He’s left the post-it note in a place he knows he won’t miss it, and knowing that there’s a strong possibility he’ll be able to finally hear Kurt’s voice again within the next twenty-four hours has Sebastian feeling a mixture of both excitement and extreme apprehension within the very pit of his stomach.

He wants to fix things, and as he leaves to make his way to his study group, Sebastian finds himself hoping that Kurt feels the same way from his end of things too.

* * *

The next day, Sebastian’s excitement appears to have given in to the ever growing and overall feeling of fear that has slowly started eating away at him from the inside out.

He can’t seem to stop thinking and trying to plan in his mind what it is that he is going to say over the phone to Kurt that morning, not even for the few moments where he’s busy pouring himself a cup of coffee to help try and wake himself up a bit more. The previous night had led to him getting very little sleep, and still even after he’s finally up and about Sebastian feels as if his mind is set on a constant loop of repeating itself, going through the same pattern of thoughts over and over and over again that only manages to make his anxiety grow. Will Kurt even want to talk to him? Will the talk help them in the way Sebastian hopes it will, or will it instead create more problems between them? And what is it that _Kurt himself_ is thinking right now? Is he just as lost as Sebastian himself feels? Or has he barely even noticed that Sebastian’s presence in his life hasn’t even been there over the past week of silence between them both?

Sebastian knows that giving into his racing thoughts and allowing them to take over his mind isn’t going to act in his advantage in any way right now, but at the same time he finds himself unable to stop thinking them. It makes him feel somewhat vulnerable, and to him, that vulnerability is a side of himself that Sebastian hates to acknowledge or often let free.

He has always seen his own vulnerability as his greatest weakness.

Sebastian tries his hardest on a day to day basis to appear confident, cocky, even arrogant to those around him. He wears those traits against his skin like plated armour, protecting how insecure he really feels deep down from attempting to peek it’s way outside into the world that constantly surrounds him. Before Kurt, Sebastian had never really even seen much of a reason as to why he should ever learn to open up more and embrace his vulnerable side from time to time for anyone.

Before Kurt, he hasn’t ever even wanted to.

But if there’s one thing that he has learnt from being with Kurt, it’s that sometimes the vulnerability that often terrifies him so much can actually be a good thing hidden in disguise. That sometimes it’s alright to be scared or anxious about what it is we’re about to face ahead of us, and it’s something that over time Sebastian has grown to know he can trust and confide in Kurt about. After all, Sebastian couldn’t deny that when their relationship works it’s usually partly because they’re able to communicate with one another and express their thoughts and feelings openly, and wasn’t the reason why they were currently stuck in the limbo of being on a possible break within their relationship due to the fact that the communication between them had more or less fallen apart at the seams as of late?

Sebastian lets out a deep sigh as that thought sinks into his mind once more, before the same pattern of questions continues to loop within his thoughts once again. Taking a sip of his coffee he let’s his eyes glance at the clock hanging on the wall, reading the time. It’s nearly ten in the morning for him. Considering Sebastian doesn’t have any classes until twelve, he knows that there should hopefully be more than enough time to call Kurt and finally talk.

After setting his coffee cup down Sebastian reaches for his phone, picking it up so that he can dial in the number that he still knows off by heart, even after a week of no contact. He presses the phone to his ear afterwards and listens to the sound of the ringing that he’s met with instantly, and then waits.

And waits.

And waits.

Sebastian feels as if his stomach is tying into knots again with each second that ticks by as he waits for Kurt to pick up and answer his call, and while he waits he can’t help but to let his eyes glance around the silent kitchen that he’s standing in in an aim to search for something that he can let his attention focus on. He can still hear the sound of the ringing on the line as he does so, and that at least is sign enough that Kurt’s phone is switched on.

He continues to wait.

_‘Hey, it’s Kurt Hummel here --’_

As he hears the sound of Kurt’s voice once more Sebastian feels his heart lurch from deep within his chest, and he’s just about to say something before realising that the voice hasn’t actually stopped speaking.

_‘ -- unfortunately, I’m unable to reach my phone at the moment. Leave me a message and I’ll try and get back to you when I can. Otherwise, try and call me again later.’_

At the end of the message the phone lets out a beeping sound against where Sebastian has it pressed against his ear, a sign to show that it was now waiting for him to leave his own message for Kurt to hear later, but all Sebastian can do for a moment is to stand there speechlessly.

Out of all the scenarios that had played out within his mind since the previous evening, Sebastian hadn’t actually considered what it was that he would do or say if the phone was left to go to voicemail.

After a moment that seems to stretch on much longer to Sebastian then it realistically is, Sebastian finally shakes his head, as if to wake himself from his daze. He blinks, looking around him again as the grip he has on his phone tightens ever so slightly, while at the same time he’s searching through his thoughts and trying to think of something short yet appropriate to say.

“Hey, it’s me,” He begins. Sebastian resists the urge to cringe at how the words sound to his own ears, instead continuing to push through the mess of his thoughts for the right words that he wants to express to Kurt in his voicemail. “Erm -- I didn’t know when you’d be free to talk and I didn’t really think to check with anyone else beforehand, but … I wanted to call you anyway. If you get this message, call me back okay? Whenever you can. There’s no pressure. I just -- I really want to talk. With you. Please.”

Sebastian takes a second to contemplate whether or not he should end his message with ‘goodbye’, but before he even has an opportunity to do so he hears the sound of the phone clicking off, the timer for leaving a message having come to an end. He slowly pulls his phone away from his ear then, staring at it blankly once it’s at arms length for a long moment as a wave of disappointment washes over him.

He doesn’t know what leaving a message will do. Would Kurt call him back when he could? Would he get the message? And if he did, what was to stop him from ignoring it if he were still upset with Sebastian? Sebastian couldn’t stop the questions from entering his mind, mixing and adding to his already brewing anxieties, and he knows that leaving a message was probably one of the last things that he wanted to resort to when it came to attempting to reach out to Kurt. Because now, he had to wait for a call that he might never actually receive. Now, he’s left to wonder if and when he should try and call again later. Now, he was left with even more uncertainties than he already held before.

Sebastian lets out a deep sigh before reaching up to run a hand through his hair, giving little to no thought to how messy he was making his already disheveled style. He decides then that he’ll give it until he has to leave for class later, and if he hasn’t heard back from Kurt after giving him a few hours, he’d try calling again.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Sebastian finds himself idly walking around campus. His class had finished about half an hour ago, yet even after trying to get in contact with Kurt again via his phone, he still hasn’t heard anything from him in response. He’s sure that he had managed to annoy one of his friends with how often he had checked his own phone for any messages or calls he might have missed, especially towards the end of the class when their expression had morphed into that of one of sympathy towards him.

He didn’t really feel like going back to the apartment, and Sebastian was more or less sick of studying whenever he had time to himself in an attempt to distract himself from what had been going on in other aspects of his life. For the first time in the last week that had passed Sebastian decides to just give himself the time he’s been dismissing to really breath and think for a while, letting his feet lead him around the college grounds at a slow pace as he does so. The air around him has a bitter chill to it, signalling the coming change in the seasons, but Sebastian finds that he doesn’t really mind the feeling of it whenever the slight wind is present and brushes against his face. He has a jacket to keep himself warm, and his hands were buried deep within the pockets of his pants.

As he walks, Sebastian thinks back to moments in the past where Kurt would walk in step beside him. They would often walk together throughout the city, sometimes surprising one another after one of them had finished a class so that they could buy a coffee or get lunch together. Those walks always found them caught up in conversation with one another, hands wrapped around cups from their favourite coffee shops in the colder weather as they exchanged stories about one another's day.

It was one of the things Sebastian missed most since Kurt had left on his internship, and also something that he hadn’t thought much about when Kurt had first announced the opportunity that he had been offered to work abroad for a few months. However since Kurt had left -- and especially over the past few days of no contact whatsoever between the two of them -- Sebastian had come to realise that it was the small, somewhat simple things they would do together that were often taken for granted that he found himself missing most of all.

Sebastian continues to walk for a little while longer, losing himself in his own thoughts again as he does so. Eventually those thoughts drift away from Kurt and the distance and silence that separates them onto what it is he should do now for the rest of the afternoon for himself.  Sebastian is in the middle of trying to figure out whether or not he should go back to his apartment or if instead he see if any of his friends are free to hang out for a while, when he’s suddenly interrupted by the sensation of a vibration coming from his pocket.

Sebastian stops in his tracks once he realises that the vibration is one that is continuous, before hurriedly moving his hands and reaching for where his phone is buried. He carelessly works at tugging it out of his pocket, the movements of his hands rushed and slightly clumsy due to the worry Sebastian feels that if he doesn’t grab the phone quick enough, he’ll miss whoever it is that’s calling him. There’s only really one persons name that he wants to see staring back at him on the caller id however, and Sebastian’s heart speeds up slightly just at the very possibility of it happening.

Finally Sebastian holds his phone in his hands, and without a pause for thought he looks at the screen to check who it is that’s calling him.

There, staring back at him is the name that he had wanted so desperately to see.

_Kurt._

Sebastian quickly accepts the call, lifting his phone to his ear at the same time as he tries to control the mixture of feelings that have suddenly bubbled up deep within him. He licks his lips nervously, breathing in a quick, deep breath, before eventually finding his voice and speaking.

“Hello?”


	6. Chapter 6

_“Hello?”_

There’s a beat of silence after Sebastian answers his phone where his nerves only seem to grow, and he almost finds himself giving a small frown in confusion at the fact Kurt hasn’t said anything until eventually, he hears the familiar sound of a voice he has been missing for far too long.

“You picked up the call.”

Kurt’s words sound somewhat surprised, almost as if he hadn’t expected Sebastian to answer. Sebastian rubs his hand at the back of his neck awkwardly, looking down at where his feet meet the paved ground below him and letting a foot drag against the brick there.

“Of course I did,” He finally says in response. “Did you think that I wouldn’t?”

“I wasn’t sure,” Kurt answers.

Sebastian can’t help but to pick up on the apprehension laced into his words, to somewhat sympathize with how Kurt is probably feeling. After all, he was just as nervous and unsure about what the phonecall between them could lead to, but at least he could let the worry of Kurt ignoring him completely go finally, if nothing else.

“Kurt; I called _you_ first. Surely that … that proves that I wanted to speak with you?” Sebastian asks. It is then that his brow does furrow, unable to stop himself from feeling somewhat confused at how unsure Kurt sounds.

“I know,” Kurt says. Sebastian hears him let out a sigh from his end of the line, before continuing. “But I just -- when I saw your missed calls and got around to listening to the voicemail you left me with I felt … terrible for not answering. So I called you back as soon as I was able. And it wasn’t until I was waiting for you to pick up that I wondered if maybe … you might have changed your mind while you had been waiting.”

“Changed my mind? About calling you?” Sebastian asks, frown deepening.

“... Yeah.”

Sebastian cranes his head up then, moving the hand that was still by his neck to instead pinch at the bridge of his nose. He breathed in deeply, trying to get his head around things before reminding himself that _Kurt had returned his call_. After a week of absolutely no communication they were finally speaking once more, and although the conversation was at present rather stunted, Sebastian found he was determined to try and change that between them both.

“I didn’t,” He finally answers, letting his hand fall again and shoving it into his pocket as he does so. His head tilts back up to look at the sky, watching the grey tinted clouds slowly drift past as he speaks. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day, and that -- it hasn’t changed for a second. I’m glad that you called me back.”

He hears Kurt let out a deep sigh over the line once more, but unlike the time before Sebastian can’t help but to assume it’s out of some sort of relief at what it is Kurt’s heard him say. Sebastian hopes it is anyway, and that he’s not just trying to look too far for signs that things maybe slowly improving between them that aren’t actually there in reality.

“Good,” Kurt says. “I’m glad you called to begin with. I -- I thought about calling you myself but …”

Kurt drifts off then, but Sebastian knows what it is he hasn’t said. They are the same worries Sebastian carried himself, the fact of not knowing when would be good to call, or how long to wait, or even how the other could possibly be thinking and feeling. Sebastian knows that Kurt’s really saying he’s thankful for Sebastian taking the first step to bridge the gap between them, and just that thought alone is enough to relieve a slight bit of his own unease.

“I get it. It took me a while to call you myself,” Sebastian confesses.

There’s a pause in the conversation between them for a moment, and during that time Sebastian notices a bench not too far from where he’s standing. He starts to make his way over to sit, licking his lips lightly out of nervousness as he does so, swallowing as he tries to think and prepare what it is he wants to say. Sebastian hadn’t considered how he was going to start the much needed conversation between them beforehand, what with his thoughts mostly revolving and worrying about if Kurt would even talk to him or not. But now that they had reached this step, Sebastian knew the real work of attempting to work things out began.

“Look, Kurt,” He begins. “Let me just start by saying --”

“No, wait,” Kurt interrupts, causing Sebastian to stop right away. “Let me say something first, then you can say what it is you want.”

“Okay…” Sebastian says, tone cautious as he lowers himself to sit on the bench.

“Well … first I owe you an apology. I owe you a few apologies, actually, but this is one of the somewhat smaller ones,” Kurt pauses for a moment, before pushing on with what he has to say. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t make our last call. I promised to you beforehand that I wouldn’t cancel it for any reason, and then … I broke that promise. I can make all the excuses I want for myself and say to you that I had doubts beforehand, but that’s all they would really be. Excuses.

“I _did_ have doubts as to whether or not I’d still be available to talk to you then, but the point is that I should have thought and acted better on those doubts instead of just ignoring them. I should have told you so that we could have worked out another time that would be more convenient for the both of us, or at least worked out a more flexible time where I could push my work aside for you. You deserved the honesty and the effort at the very least, and I didn’t really put either of those into practice.”

Sebastian takes in what Kurt is saying, letting him speak and not interrupting him. After he’s finished Sebastian waits, almost as if he’s anticipating the sound of Kurt’s voice speaking on for longer, but once he’s aware that Kurt’s waiting for him to respond he let’s out a heavy sigh.

“Can I ask you why you _didn’t_ talk to me about those doubts you had?” He hears himself ask, the sound of his voice seeming almost tired to his own ears. Sebastian’s posture slumps slightly in his seat as he asks the question, trying to think of reasons as to why Kurt wouldn’t just have spoken to him in the first place. It was unlike him not to do so, especially since Kurt had been the first in their relationship to push forward so much with the importance of communicating with one another.

There’s a long pause over the line while Sebastian waits for a response, and he almost wonders if he should speak again before finally, Kurt’s breaking the dull quiet that had fallen between them once more.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” He finally replies. “I feel like I’ve been disappointing you enough lately as it is. By the time I’d suggested the date -- I felt like I couldn’t take it back without upsetting you more somehow.”

“ _Kurt,_ ” Sebastian says, his tone somewhat exasperated. “Finding a time that would have worked well for the both of us wouldn’t have disappointed me, but breaking a promise -- that does. If you had spoken to me first before making it seem like it was something that was going to definitely happen, I would have understood better. This is why you need to tell me these things, so we can work them through _together_.”

“You mean like how you talk to me about things?”

The question catches Sebastian off guard and he can’t help but to freeze. There is no malice or anger in Kurt’s words -- in fact he sounds just as exhausted and tired about the whole situation they’re caught up in as Sebastian himself feels -- but they still manage to dig themselves deep into Sebastian, stabbing him like knives. He knows there is a truth there, that as unfair as Kurt had been to him Sebastian himself has been just as unfair in return, but it wasn’t something that he expected Kurt to jump to so bluntly.

“There are some things that I said during the heart of our argument that I meant, you know?” Sebastian hears Kurt continue to say. “I feel like, even before I moved out here, we haven’t really been communicating as well as we usually do even though we both promised each other that we would. You don’t talk to me or tell me about the things that upset or worry you about me being on this placement, and instead you decide to avoid the topic or the feelings that associate with it completely. And I know it’s because you don’t want to think about it or that you want to pretend those concerns don’t exist, but … they work against you, Sebastian. They work against us _both_. And I don’t like it when that happens.”

Sebastian swallows whilst listening to Kurt’s words. As much as he loathes to admit it, he knows that Kurt is right. He _has_ been hiding his concerns and feelings away, not wanting to associate or accept them as a reality or something that actually bothered him so much. It was a method he had grown to use whenever something difficult entered his life, and even though he had slowly been growing to become more open around Kurt, he still had a long way to go ahead of him until it would feel completely natural.

Although the problem had been lingering in the air between them ever since Kurt had first announced the offer of his work placement, neither of them had really tried to tackle it. Sebastian had opted for pretending it wasn’t there, trying to treat things in as normal a manner as he could, yet even he could no longer fool himself into believing that his methods were working to strengthen the bonds between Kurt and himself. Kurt had been right in what he had said over the phone a week before, Sebastian’s actions _had_ been ultimately selfish and full of the resentment that he couldn’t stop carrying, and if anything carrying both qualities made him less supportive of Kurt’s achievements then he really should have been.

“I know that I’ve been acting … kind of _off_ these past few months --”

“‘ _Kind of off’_ is an understatement to how you’ve been acting, if anything,” Kurt interrupts. “Try, _‘being kind of an asshole’_ instead.”

“Kurt, come on; I’m trying to apologise myself here,” Sebastian says, letting out another tired sigh at Kurt’s words.

“... Fine. You’re right, I’m sorry. Continue, please.”

“Thank you,” Sebastian pauses once more. He purses his lips tightly, trying to think of the right way to word what it is he wants to say, before deciding that the best thing to do is to just say exactly what it is that has been plaguing his mind for so long.

“I know that I’ve been acting kind of off, and I’m sorry about that. I _am_ trying to work on communicating with you more, you know I am, but sometimes -- sometimes it’s difficult for me. I’m still not really used to expressing my concerns or talking about feelings so openly with another person just yet, and sometimes … the traits of myself that I’m not particularly proud of come creeping back.”

Sebastian takes a breath then, preparing himself to continue. Already he feels uncomfortable, and he knows that once he starts talking he’s going to feel open and vulnerable. They are feelings he has never gotten used to but he knows, more importantly, that the only hope for him and Kurt to ever move forward is to push past and work through their difficulties. And if that means being more open and honest than he usually feels comfortable with, then so be it.

“You said that you didn’t talk to me before because you didn’t want to disappoint me,” Sebastian begins, and he knows Kurt well enough to imagine him nodding silently from the other end of the phone where he’s listening. “Well, my reasonings are like that too. I didn’t want to acknowledge how I really felt about things because I didn’t want to disappoint _you_. Never have I been more proud of you, Kurt. Honestly. I knew from the minute you first told me about the offer that you were going to end up taking it, and I wanted nothing more than to be completely happy and supportive for you. I mean, you work so hard all the time, and you were actually getting offered this -- this _amazing_ opportunity to shine and show people exactly what it is that you have to offer to the world. I should have been absolutely _ecstatic_ for you. But I wasn’t. Instead I was just … scared.”

“Scared?” Sebastian hears Kurt ask. “I don’t understand. Why were you scared?”

At Kurt’s question Sebastian lets out a sad excuse for a laugh, shaking his head slightly before shutting his eyes.

“What didn’t I have to be scared of? My boyfriend was outshining himself and showing the world what he was made of. He was going to be in another country for months, separated by a huge fucking ocean. What was to stop you from --” Sebastian suddenly stops, catching himself as he feels a lump beginning to form at the back of his throat.

“Stop me from what?” Kurt asks after a beat of silence between them. Sebastian attempts to push the awkward, blocked sensation that’s growing in his throat down by swallowing, but the action doesn’t seem to do much to make it budge.

“What was to stop you from finding something better, Kurt?” He asks, voice breaking as Sebastian speaks Kurt’s name. “It was a brand new opportunity for you with so many possibilities, what if you decided you wanted something different from what it is that we have together now? What if you found someone else? Someone who had more in common with you, who understood all your fashion talk better than I ever could? I mean, I didn’t know how the distance between us was going to end up affecting us both individually and within our relationship. And I know, I know it’s selfish to think about those things but --”

“Sebastian stop. Just, stop for a second.”

At Kurt’s interruption Sebastian stops talking almost instantly, letting himself glance down at where his hand sat within his own lap. He let his fingers lightly dance over the fabric of his pants, picking at a stray piece of string in an aim to distract himself from the flurry of his own thoughts.

“That’s what you were worried about? That I’d find someone else and just -- decide to move on from you?” Sebastian hears the echo of Kurt’s voice ask. He can’t bring himself to answer however, his earlier honesty and openness leaving him feeling much too raw and vulnerable than he’s comfortable with, yet Sebastian’s silence alone seems to be enough of an answer for Kurt. Sebastian hears the sound of a light sigh over the phone, followed by the familiar sound of Kurt’s voice once again.

“You really are something, aren’t you?” Kurt asks, and the question causes Sebastian to frown ever so slightly to himself. “We’ve been together this long now, and you thought that I’d suddenly … what? Get bored of you? That’s not how these things work, Bas. That’s not how a -- no, how _our_ \-- relationship works.”

The brief use of the familiar nickname that only Kurt holds the permission to use for him has Sebastian’s heart give a small leap from where it sits within his chest. To him it feels like forever since he last heard Kurt call him that, and it wasn’t until that moment that Sebastian realised how much he had missed hearing it.

“I don’t really have a good track record with long distance anything, Kurt. Especially relationships. You know that. I’ve told you that before,” Sebastian replies, sounding almost defeated with his own confession.

“I know, and I understand that, I do. But you also happen to have a good track record with _me_ , and that should amount for something too.” Kurt pauses, and Sebastian knows that something in his mind has suddenly clicked itself into place like a lost piece of a puzzle. “Wait; is this …  this is why you were so upset when I started cancelling some of our plans and calls, wasn’t it? You wondered if I was pushing you aside, if you weren’t -- or you didn’t -- oh, _Sebastian_.”

Sebastian’s eyes clench tightly shut as Kurt finally seems to understand what and where it is his worries and fears have stemmed from. He knows that overall, his thoughts haven’t been overly rational as of late, and that they even crossed the line over into just plain ridiculous, but hearing someone finally beginning to understand the mess that’s going on with his emotions only makes it all the more real to him that they exist, and aren’t instead imagined.

“I’m sorry I didn’t understand this sooner. I mean, I had a feeling there was something big you were hiding from me -- but I didn’t see it being _this_. And I should have, I know that now. If I knew sooner, I would have told you the truth and said that you have absolutely _nothing_ to worry about. That what happened in your past isn’t and won’t repeat itself again with us. I love _you. You._ You make my life interesting and crazy enough as it is, and I wouldn’t jeopardise or trade what we have for anything. You’re still my brand new opportunity in life, and the one that I care about the most.

“And … I think you’ll agree that things like this are why we need to communicate better, Sebastian,” Kurt continues. “Because there’s so much between us right now that we’re missing, that we’re just not seeing or understanding as well or as soon as we should -- and that’s because we’ve both neglected to work on the one thing we promised to keep up without fail. But not only will stronger communication be better for us now, it’ll benefit us in the future too.”

Sebastian let’s out a long sigh, before opening his eyes again. He looks up, attention focused ahead of him, noticing a small group of college students that had just left one of the buildings engaged in an animated conversation with one another, unaffected by the matters of others around them.

“That’s what I was trying to get across to you when I said I wanted to talk to you more. That it was because we needed better communication. I feel like … like we haven’t really had a chance to really talk between the two of us in a long while. And I don’t like it. It makes me feel distant from you in a whole other way.”

“I know,” Sebastian hears Kurt say softly over the phone. “And I see that now. Before I -- I don’t think I really understood what it is you were trying to tell me, but after this last week of not talking to you at all … I could see what it was you were trying to stop from happening. And I feel … terrible for not noticing it before.”

At Kurt’s words, Sebastian seems to relax a little bit. It’s like a weight on the heavy pile of his worries has been lifted, giving him the chance to breath and actually see some positive progress being made between them. Sebastian finds it almost refreshing in a way, being able to finally reach the very bottom of what it was he was trying to make Kurt see a few weeks prior, and he can’t help but to hope that it was the beginning of taking a step in the right direction.

“I’ll admit, I haven’t really been as open and as honest with my opinions as I should have been. I think we both carry equal fault here,” Sebastian says, letting his eyes dart up to the sky above him for a long moment before looking ahead of him once again. “But I agree. We really need to work on our communication right now. After all, what happens if we have to face this sort of distance in the future too? It’s a highly plausible possibility. I mean, we don’t know what we could be doing in two or three years time.”

Kurt let’s out a small laugh then at what Sebastian had said, and the sound is contagious, making the corners of Sebastian’s lips curl up into a small little smile.

“That’s definitely a point worth making. But I think right now, we should focus on the here and now, and not what may or may not happen two or three years from now between us.” There’s a long pause, before Kurt’s voice eventually breaks the silence once more. “I do think we should continue being on a break right now, though.”

Sebastian’s smile falls as quickly as it had started to appear, and his brow creases slightly in misunderstanding. Kurt must sense how his reaction however, as before Sebastian even has an opportunity to say something, Kurt’s speaking again.

“Only for the rest of the time while I’m out here,” He says, his words being spoken in a rush, as if to stop Sebastian from jumping from any conclusions too quickly. “I just think that it’ll benefit us to focus more on what we need to work on for the time being. Once I’m back in New York, we can decide what we want to do next.”

For a moment Sebastian just thinks, letting Kurt’s words and idea sink into his mind. Sebastian has never liked the idea of them being on a break from the moment he really let the reality of it settle into his mind during the aftermath of their argument, but he can’t help but to understand Kurt’s logic in maintaining that level between them for the time being. Although they were speaking and they had both apologised for some of the mistakes they had made, there was still a fair share of work to do in returning their relationship back to the level it had been before their problems had first arisen, or to make the bond even stronger. Both Sebastian and Kurt’s schedules were the same as they had been for the past previous weeks, and Sebastian half figured that although they had both expressed the desire to work on things, they would still be juggling their time around in favour of both work and one another. Right now, at the current point in time and with what they had to achieve, there was very little room to include a relationship into the mix too.

“This is just, a temporary type of thing, right?” Sebastian hears himself asking. “Just to give us more of a focus to work on things together?”

“Yes. Exactly that. I promise you Sebastian, as soon as I come back home and when we both feel that we’ve made good progress on working on everything, we can move back into our relationship properly. It’ll probably be more beneficial and better that way too, what with the fact that we’d be together again in person.”

It’s the way that Kurt still has no problem calling New York home that helps to let Sebastian’s mind ease somewhat, making his decision for what it is they should do. He really can’t see the harm in Kurt’s plan, so, Sebastian finds himself nodding slowly, before realising that Kurt can’t see him.

“Okay,” He says. “I think that’s a smart thing for us to do.”

“Okay,” Kurt responds. Sebastian is sure he can hear the growing smile in Kurt’s words alone. “I managed to get some time off from work late tomorrow afternoon; I’m supposed to be working on some papers that I need to take back with me for college. But … I can call you then, if you’re free? It’ll be around six my time, but I’m free anytime after that too.”

Hearing Kurt suggesting a time for them to speak again, for him to plan something between them and having it be as soon as the following day helps Sebastian feel as if for the first time, he was really certain that they really were going to work on rebuilding things between them together. The smile he wore before began to creep upon his lips once more, and he ducks his head down to hide his happiness from the world around him.

“I’ll send you a text when I’m back at the apartment, then you’ll know when to call,” He answers.

It feels differently from the last time they had tried to plan a call together. This time, Sebastian does not feel any rush of anxiety, or looming worry that his growing hope would end up be squashed. He’s not grasping for the nearest bit of contact he can get at Kurt this time either, and instead all he feels is a surge of hope flow within him, accompanied by a sense that this was like a fresh start at pushing through the difficult times together for the both of them.

“Okay,” Kurt says once more. “Then, I’ll call you tomorrow. Make sure you text me, okay?”

“I will.”

They say their goodbyes then, before Sebastian is clicking off his phone. He lets the phone and the hand he’s using to hold it rest in his lap, simply staring down at it as he lets his mind wrap around all that had just been said. It’s a relief, working through things with Kurt, and Sebastian felt as if a wire that had been curled up tight within the very pit of his belly for the last week has finally unwound, giving him the chance to breath properly and feel hopeful once again. It’s a nice feeling, almost like a pressure he hadn’t really been aware of had dissipated, making him feel more like the guy he was when he wasn’t consumed with a hundred and one different worries.

Suddenly, his phone buzzes again, and Sebastian quickly turns his hand upwards so that he can see the screen that’s glowing brightly up at him. He notices that it’s a new text that he’s received, and without hesitating he opens it. When he sees the name attached telling him who it is that’s sent him the message however, Sebastian’s smile only grows larger.

 **Kurt:** _By the way, you better send me your usual texts again. Although I won’t usually admit it, I have missed your humour brightening up my dull days over the past week. Even if it is sometimes somewhat crude. x_

Yeah, Sebastian could see them working together better this time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the slight delay in this chapter. It was being rather problematic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italicised scenes in this chapter are from small little situations that have happened over the weeks since Kurt & Sebastian agreed to work on things more and to not let their worries and concerns hit a boiling point like before. As you read on, you may realise that each scene gets closer and closer towards the time in which Kurt's work program will be finished with.

The following day, Sebastian texts Kurt, just as he promises he would. He doesn’t even have to wait for very long afterwards until he's hearing the familiar sound of his phone ringing.

As he and Kurt talk, Sebastian can’t help but to feel as if finally, things are going to change between them for the better after all the stress and the awkwardness that had been building up between them both during the last couple of weeks.

* * *

As time continues to go by, conversation between them seems to improve greatly.

Whenever they have the opportunity to speak to one another, they do so for a long while. During the first few times they spoke, both Kurt and Sebastian worked on improving their communication with one another, seeing as they felt that it was in need of some repair ever since their big argument. Even then however, it never seemed to take them all that long in their conversations until they were asking about each others days instead. That structure did eventually change however, and now Sebastian finds that the majority of his conversations with Kurt -- if not all of them -- were more or less opportunities for them to catch up on what it was they had been doing.

During their calls and Skype conversations Sebastian slowly discovers that now when Kurt is talking to him about his work in Milan and the city around him he listens properly to his words, and perhaps for the first time since they’ve been apart from one another Sebastian is not only interested in what Kurt has to say, but he is also somewhat fascinated in what it is that Kurt has been doing in his work and how he has been keeping himself busy. Sebastian isn’t afraid to allow himself the opportunity to be impressed at Kurt’s achievements anymore, to be proud of him in the way that he had wished he could have been in the first place. With his previous concerns put to rest after talking to Kurt about them in a little bit more detail, Sebastian now only feels a sense of happiness with Kurt’s updates, replacing his earlier feelings of resentment and worry. That change in itself is enough to have Sebastian feel as if he can let out a rather large sigh in relief. To Sebastian it feels almost as if he can finally see the sun after a long period of cloud and rain had been hovering low over his head, and that now he is opening himself up to the beauty and the positivity that has always been around him.

The more frequent calls not only seem to be helping him, but they also seem to be helping Kurt, as Sebastian soon begins to understand. He begins to discover that when they do speak to one another, Kurt provides more of an opportunity for Sebastian to share with him any updates about his own life whilst in New York too, and that Kurt is more attentive and interested to hear what it is he has to say than he had been before. Sebastian assumes that Kurt has had a chance to balance and focus on the things that he wants, and that he has realised that although his time away and his work are both important to him, Sebastian is important to him also. Sebastian, who has his own life that he continues to live even when he's away from Kurt, a life that Kurt would eventually end up returning to and being a part of again when his time in Milan came to its end. Kurt seems to understand now that Sebastian's feelings are not something he can afford to neglect again.

But as well as that, Sebastian notices that the big change is that they _are_ both communicating better, just like they promised they would. If there is something that is bothering one of them, or if there is some sort of concern that they have, Kurt and Sebastian now try and talk and sort it out between them. It makes them more open and honest with one another than they ever were before, and although at first it’s hard to adjust to such a change between them, Sebastian knows that it has helped to make them both grow stronger together.

* * *

_“So, I was talking to Blaine over the phone the other day …”_

_Sebastian tears his eyes away from his work quickly so that he can glance up at the image of Kurt on his computer screen. He sees Kurt moving, reaching to pick something up beside him as he is talking, before finding what it is he is after and settling down to position himself so he’s facing Sebastian through the screen once again._

_“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asks, letting his attention fall back onto his work as he keeps speaking. “What were you guys talking about?”_

_“A few things,” Kurt replies. The words drift off for a few minutes, and Sebastian lets the brief moment of peace between them settle as he continues with what he is doing. Eventually however, the peace is again broken._

_“Would you say that we’re like Ross and Rachel from_ Friends _?”_

_At the rather abrupt question Sebastian freezes, laying his pen down before looking up and giving Kurt a small, confused frown. Kurt on the other hand is just watching him calmly through the screen, waiting patiently for Sebastian’s answer._

_“Erm, no. Not really. Why?” He asks, although Sebastian feels as if he already knows part of the reason why he’s been asked such an odd question._

_“Because,” Kurt begins, letting out a small sigh as he does so. “Blaine kind of mentioned that we reminded him of them. Apparently it’s the way that we always seem to be hot and cold with one another, how we always manage to bicker between ourselves -- I just wondered what you thought about the comparison. That's all.”_

_“Honestly? I think Blaine’s been watching way too much television,” Sebastian replies. In his mind he can’t help but to add_ so do you, _knowing that Kurt and Blaine are both guilty parties when it came to them being addicted to some dumb, new show that had started airing which Sebastian himself held no interest towards._

_“No, really Bas,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes fondly at Sebastian’s comment. “Don’t you have any opinion on what he said? Whether he’s right or not?”_

_“No, not really.”_

_“Really?” Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow. “You have no opinion whatsoever?”_

_Sebastian takes a moment, before shaking his head and letting out a sigh of his own. He knows that he’s not going to get any peace from the topic unless he suddenly sprouts an opinion out of somewhere, Kurt’s done this many times before whenever he’s asked questions about Sebastian’s opinions on things such as musicals and character relationships._

_“Kurt …” Sebastian begins, treading slowly within the topic. “Two questions: one, is Blaine, in any way, a part of our relationship?”_

_“Well, no… --”_

_“Okay. So that leads me on to question two: do you think that Blaine really has enough ground to make that kind of judgement?”_

_“... I take it that it’s safe to assume you don’t think we’re like them, then?”_

_“No. I don’t,” Sebastian says. He leans back in his seat, watching Kurt’s expression through the screen for a few moments longer before eventually continuing. “Rachel and Ross were an overly dramatised couple on television that were created purely for entertainment, Kurt. Sure, we may argue and bicker sometimes, but I like to think that we don’t need to worry ourselves by comparing our relationship to something that’s not entirely realistic. Or even remotely functional for that matter.”_

_“So --” Kurt begins, shifting in his own chair slightly so that he’s sitting up straighter himself. “You agree in thinking that the way we work together is healthy?”_

_Sebastian lets out a short sound that sounds very reminiscent of a snort, arms moving to cross over his chest._

_“Of course it is,” He replies. “And the bits that we aren’t so good at right now -- well, we’re working on them still, aren't we?" Sebastian pauses for a second, frowning. He tilts his head to one side as he watches Kurt once more. “Why do you ask? Do_ you _think we’re unhealthy or problematic?”_

_“No!” Kurt answers, his eyes going wide. “No, god no. I don’t. It’s just -- we_ do _argue a lot sometimes, and our fights can get pretty bad ... and ugly. I … just wanted to see if you thought there was anything to worry about with Blaine’s words. Just incase there was something we hadn’t discussed that maybe we need to work on along with … well. Everything else we’re currently trying to improve and make stronger between us.”_

_Sebastian is quiet for a moment, letting Kurt’s words sink in. He is sure that Blaine’s words to Kurt were probably meant as nothing more than a joke, and had situations been more normal Kurt would have laughed it off without a second thought. Yet with the distance and the state of where they both were in their relationship at present, Sebastian could understand why Kurt felt the need to bring it up. They were, after all, working on being more open and honest with one another, and this topic, this conversation they were having was a result of that. Kurt had wanted to make sure that there was nothing more behind the humoured words, and that he wasn’t missing something important once again that was staring so obviously right in front of him._

_“Well, like I said before, the only thing I would worry about from the comment is how much time Blaine spends sitting in front of the television,” Sebastian finally replies, giving Kurt a small little grin as he does so. Kurt seems to catch the hidden meaning behind it, seems to understand how Sebastian is telling him that everything is okay, as he smiles back at him. “As for the arguing, I think it’s a good thing. It means that we’re talking about things, even if it takes screaming them at one another for us to both hear and listen. That’s a lot better than just assuming we can both read one another's minds.”_

_“When you put it that way …” Kurt says, the smile on his face growing somewhat, echoing how he seems to have relaxed into the conversation again. “I think we have since learnt that assuming things without just saying them clearly doesn’t really work in our favour.”_

_“Next time you speak to Blaine, tell him that he needs to stop spending so much time with Netflix,” Sebastian says, before uncrossing his arms and moving to grab his pen again. “Or at least tell him to pay better attention to things before comparing them to other people. I could think of one or two things to say about his relationship with -- is it Dan he’s with right now?”_

_“Oh my god,” Kurt laughs. “You really are terrible with remembering the name of his boyfriend. No it is not Dan.”_

_“Why did I think it was Dan then? Am I even close?” Sebastian asks, brow creasing as he frowns._

_“It doesn’t even begin with the letter D, Bas.”_

_“... He really hasn’t left any impression on me at all then. Whatever-his-name is, him and Blaine are like -- what’s that horribly cheesy couple you love so much on that show I always have to watch with you? You know, the one where they cling to each other like octopus’s all.the fucking.time?”_

_“I swear Sebastian,” Kurt says, shaking his head and giving a fond eye roll as he does so. “You really do have no taste in television, do you?”_

* * *

_“Aren’t you supposed to be in a lecture right now?”_

_At Kurt’s question, Sebastian sighs. He continues to hold the phone to his ear, rubbing the back of his neck where a dull ache is forming from spending the majority of the morning hunched over papers and reading from textbooks in the library._

_“Yes. But I can skip out on the first few minutes and not miss much, so it’s fine.”_

_“Sebastian,” comes the sound of Kurt’s unimpressed tone from the other side of the line. “Go to your lecture.”_

_“I will eventually, god. Can’t I just have five minutes? I feel like I haven’t been able to really have a moment to breathe with the amount of work I’ve been doing all day.”_

_“Sebastian, I’ve told you before. I’m not going to have you missing your lectures or classes just so that you can call me. We agreed that you wouldn’t do that.” Kurt pauses for a second, before Sebastian hears his voice once more, a hint of confusion colouring it. “Why_ are _you calling me right now anyway? This is an unusual time for you even if you weren't in college right now.”_

_“What, I can’t call you now?” Sebastian asks._

_“Not when your missing lectures, no, you can’t. So if you don’t have a proper answer to my question --”_

_“Kurt would you stop being so difficult for one minute, please?” Sebastian says tiredly. He lifts the hand that was at the back of his neck to cover over his eyes, rubbing at them before letting his thumb slowly move to rub in circles at his forehead. Kurt has stopped speaking, although Sebastian assumes that he’s more than likely frowning at what it was he had just said to him. After letting out another long sigh Sebastian lets his hand fall by his side, resting his head on the wall behind up and craning his neck up to admire the ceiling above him._

_“I called because it’s been a long as fuck day today and it wasn’t until like, ten minutes ago that it dawned on me that we won’t even make our usual call what with you having to stay at work late. So, as I knew you were going to be around for a little while longer at least, I thought I’d give you a quick call now instead. Is that okay with you?”_

_Although he hasn’t said it, Sebastian’s words are layered with everything else he’d like to convey. That just hearing the sound of Kurt’s voice helps to calm him, helps to make his day seem a little bit more bearable as his workload for college continues to grow. That he wanted to call him, even if it was only for a quick moment before a long lecture to end the day. It is a contrast to the way Sebastian would have acted a few weeks beforehand, as now he is thinking and working around both of their schedules, instead of continuously fighting against Kurt’s. Sebastian has grown more accepting of the situation they are in, and has decided to work alongside it._

_“You could have called me tomorrow,” Kurt replies. His voice is softer now, and Sebastian knows that he no longer cares much about the time in which Sebastian is calling. “I told you, I’d be around in the evening. I’d be doing some work, but I’d be able to call you or maybe even Skype with you.”_

_“I know,” Sebastian says. “But that was tomorrow. And I ... wanted to hear your voice before then.”_

_There’s a long pause over the line between them, before Sebastian let’s out a small, single laugh, shaking his head at the sound._

_“It’s really weird, I know --”_

_“No. It’s not weird.” Kurt interrupts. “I can understand what you’re saying. Sometimes … this distance really sucks a lot more than it already does. Especially on long or bad days. I’ve had days where the only thing I’ve wanted to do is to come home back to you, but then realised how difficult that is to do right now.”_

_“Good to know I’m not the only one who has those thoughts,” Sebastian mumbles to himself, almost sounding uncomfortable with his own open emotions._

_“It’s only a few weeks more to go,” Kurt continues, his voice sounding reassuring now. “A few more weeks, and then I’ll be back in New York. And we can forget about the distance, or the timezones, or --”_

_“The phone calls at really odd hours?”_

_“Yes. We can forget about them too,” Kurt agrees, letting out a huff of laughter of his own at Sebastian’s question. Another long pause, and then Kurt’s speaking again, his voice reassuring and calm still. “A few more weeks is much better than a few more months. Think about that. When you’re in your lecture -- which you will be going to, by the way -- think about how soon those weeks will pass. It sometimes helps me when I feel exhausted or tired with the longer days.”_

_Sebastian sucks in a deep breathe, looking ahead of him at the opposite wall. Most of the hallway he’s standing in is quiet now, save for the odd person that walks past every now and then, but Kurt’s words settle into his mind, making things seem somewhat clearer and his thoughts feeling less cramped than they had been before._

_“I love you,” he says, without even having to think of the words._

_“I love you too,” Kurt replies just as easily. “Now, go to your lecture. I’ll send you a text when I get back from work later, okay?”_

_“Okay,” Sebastian says. “Don’t work yourself too hard, alright?”_

_“I won’t. Now go, otherwise you’ll complain you don’t have half the notes you need.”_

* * *

Things are by no means picture perfect between them all the time, however.

There are still moments where they bicker, or where they end up disagreeing with one another. After having particularly bad days, instead of finding speaking to the other as calm and relaxing, they can find just that one little spark that nags at them, irritates them and just adds itself to the pile of things that they can do without having to deal with at that point in time.

Kurt still works late hours on some nights, even if he has to be in early the next day. Sebastian doesn’t like when he does that.

Sebastian still pushes to skip important college lectures or classes, or even on one occasion half of his study group with friends. Kurt still doesn’t approve of him doing that just to talk to him, and often attempts to get him back to wherever it is he’s supposed to be.

Distance is a horrid, messy obstacle, they discover, and one that is often difficult or near impossible to work around or have that much control over.

But they learn, and they keep moving forward. That’s all they really can do.

* * *

  _“Kurt come on. Can you at least sit down for five minutes? This is distracting, and not in the way that I usually approve of.”_

_Sebastian continues to look at his computer screen, his arms crossed over his chest as he watches Kurt rush from one side of the room, before rushing over and picking something up on the other side. It’s a process that has been going for a good number of minutes now, and Sebastian thinks to himself that he never would have agreed to this Skype chat if he had known that Kurt wasn’t going to even really be all that present within it._

_“Give me a minute, I just need to find something else. I know it’s around here somewhere …”_  

_Kurt’s words drift off into the air, and Sebastian can just about see him from the left hand side of his screen, standing still with a thoughtful look on his face and his head turning as he looks at the ground around him. Sebastian simply rolls his eyes at the sight, having watched Kurt do the same thing at least three times already._

_“I’ve given you like, ten by now. Can’t you just sit down and find it later?”_

_“I told you, I’m going out later this evening,” Kurt answers, sparing a quick glance to his own screen and at Sebastian who was still watching him through it. “I’m having drinks with some of the other people I’ve been working with. I won’t have the time to look for it later, and I need it first thing for tomorrow.”_

_“So, just don’t go out for drinks until you find whatever it is you’ve lost if it’s so urgent a thing to find,” Sebastian says. “But you can at least spare five minutes now.”_

_Kurt turns his head, brow furrowing as he stares at the screen of his laptop once more._

_“I’m not going to be late for tonight, Sebastian,” He says, letting his hand fall from where it had previously been pressed against his chin. “And I told you, you can still talk while I search for this jacket. I’m still listening to what you're saying.”_

_“Yeah, but you’re not,” Sebastian replies, watching Kurt as he walks over to the closet in his room and begins searching through it. “That’s the thing. I’ve_ been _talking to you. All you’ve been doing is humming and not replying properly. That -- along with you running back and forth like a lunatic -- is distracting, and makes me feel like I should just shut my mouth if you don’t give you a fuck about what I have to say.”_

_Kurt pulls back from the closet then, letting his head look around the door to glare back at Sebastian’s glowing face again._

_“If I’m being so unbearable, then why don’t you turn the call off then? I don’t understand why this is such a big problem to you.”_

_“Such a -- Kurt you were the one that decided_ now _was a good time to hold this call in the first place! You were the one that wanted to talk and ask for my opinion, not me. And all I’ve gotten out of you from this conversation right now is a hi before you suddenly started going on about whatever jacket it is you’ve lost that’s important for god knows what reason!”_

_“Sebastian; I’m not doing this with you right now,” Kurt says. “Either shut up, stop complaining, or log out.”_

_“Oh my god, now I’m not even allowed to call you out on your bullshit behaviour -- hey. Kurt, what the hell?”_

_The image of Kurt on Sebastian’s screen disappeared; replaced by nothing but the sight of a t-shirt that Kurt had thrown to cover the screen. Sebastian frowns at the item, before letting out a growl under his breath, uncrossing his arms and reaching towards the laptop._

_“Okay, fine. If that’s how you wanna be right now, then fine. I don’t need to sit around for this.”_

_Sebastian finds the button that he needs, and hits ‘log off’. The image of Kurt’s t-shirt blocking his webcam closes, leaving Sebastian with the blue login screen asking for his username and password. He let’s out a heavy sigh, leaning back in his chair and slouching slightly as he does so._

_There’s a pile of work that needs to be done of his own for the up and coming week, but Sebastian decides he’s really not in the mood to sit and deal with it for the time being. Instead, he suddenly feels like after having to deal with Kurt he needs a drink of his own, or at least needs to get out of the apartment for an hour or so._

* * *

_Just as Sebastian is about to sit down with his drink in the seat next to Blaine, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He sets his drink down at the table, sharing a quick look at Blaine before reaching for the item, pulling it out and noticing the ‘one new message’ notification staring back at him from the screen. Sebastian glances down at the name of the sender, noticing who it is who had sent him the message._

_“Is that Kurt?” Blaine asks, before picking up his own drink and bringing it up to his lips. Sebastian sighs, before nodding, slumping back down into his seat._

_“Yeah, it is,” Sebastian replies as he unlocks his phone, pulling up the message and reading it._

**_Kurt:_** I found the jacket. It was in the closet in the end, right where I had left it. I’m sorry. You were right; I should have been more attentive to what you were saying. I was just in the middle of an internal panic.

_Sebastian let’s his eyes rest on the message for a moment longer after he reads it, letting the words sink in. Eventually, he presses ‘reply’ and begins to type out his response._

**_Sebastian:_** I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to be so irritating and unbearable. It just felt like you were ignoring me, and I didn’t like that.

**_Kurt:_** Consider us both even now, then. I mean, it _was_ somewhat difficult for me to get you to say more than two words to me more when you were watching _Iron Man_ the other night.

_Sebastian can’t help but to let out a breath of laughter at that, shaking his head at the memory of what it is Kurt is talking about. Blaine’s watching him from where he’s sitting beside him, a small, knowing smile beginning to stretch out across his face._

_“I take it that you two are back on good terms again now by that laugh of yours?” He says. Sebastian looks up from the phone and towards his friend, giving a small shrug after a moment._

_“I guess so, yeah,” Sebastian answers. He pauses for a moment, letting his attention fall back onto forming a reply for Kurt. “He said he was sorry, that he was panicking over something. He found the jacket he was looking for in the end though, so I think that helped to make him relax again.”_

_“That’s good then,” Blaine replies. “Although_ why _you thought you’d get any real conversation out of Kurt when he was searching for it in the first place is beyond me. You know how he get’s around clothes.”_

_“I thought he wanted to talk,” Sebastian says, looking up at Blaine defensively. Blaine gives him another small smile, before setting his drink on the table._

_“I was kidding. Although ... I do think he might have been panicking about a little more than just the jacket, Seb,” Blaine says. When Sebastian’s expression becomes confused, Blaine continues. “Look, consider what today’s date is. Kurt will be coming home in just over a week.”_

_At the realisation Sebastian’s eyes widen, and he’s almost unable to believe that he hadn’t even put that thought into consideration earlier. Blaine was right, however. Kurt was due to return to New York soon, and the next week would be his last full week on his work placement._

_“Shit,” says Sebastian. “Shit, you’re right.” He turns to look at Blaine, trying not to let the worry that had just entered his mind settle or show. “Do you think he’s anxious about coming home, then?”_

_Blaine gives a small laugh at that, causing Sebastian to frown. Blaine on the other hand smiles brightly, focusing his attention on watching Sebastian._

_“I think he wants nothing more than to come home, especially since it means he’ll be with you again. But I think he’s getting anxious about things on his end. You know, packing up his things again, making sure he can still remember where he put his flight tickets and passport -- that sort of thing. I mean, it’s enough to worry anyone to the point of frustration, don’t you think?”_

_Now that Blaine’s reminded him of it all, Sebastian can see and understand where it is he is coming from. Before, when Kurt had been planning to leave for Milan, Sebastian could recall that Kurt had checked many times over to make sure that he had everything he needed packed away and easy to find. It hadn't passed Sebastian’s mind that Kurt could be panicking about the same things in preparation for his return, yet now it had been pointed out to him he could see how it could easily be the case._

_“If anything, his main worry is probably trying to work out if he needs to buy another suitcase for all the things he’s likely to have brought whilst he’s been over there,” Sebastian says, before turning back to his phone. He hears Blaine laugh beside him at his words, and it helps to make a smile appear upon his own lips._

**_Sebastian:_** I’m having drinks with Blaine right now, but how about we reschedule today’s call for tomorrow sometime if you're able to? That way you can tell me how things went at work and if the jacket was up to scratch for your boss.

_“Hey, do you mind if Christian drops by? He’s just sent me a text to say he’s finished with work for the day.”_

_Sebastian looks up from his own phone long enough to glance at Blaine, noticing that he has his own pulled out and held within his hands. He frowns at the question for a moment, trying to make sense of Blaine’s words in his mind._

_“Christian?” He asks. At the question Blaine turns to look at him, giving him a somewhat unimpressed look._

_“Yeah, Christian. As in my boyfriend, Christian? You know, that guy.”_

_“Oh,” Sebastian replies. He really must try and remember the guys name, but all the same for now Sebastian finds himself giving a nod in Blaine's direction. “Sure, whatever. He can come, I don’t mind.”_

_His own phone vibrates again, and Sebastian tears his eyes away from Blaine’s now brightly smiling face to look down at the reply he already knows is from Kurt._

**_Kurt:_** You mean to make up for the travesty that today’s Skype call was? Sounds like a good idea, so yes we should do that. Say hello to Blaine from me. I’ll try and text you later after I get back, although you probably won’t get it until the morning. Have fun. x

* * *

 A week later, Sebastian hears his phone ringing. He picks it up from where it’s sitting next to his college work, looking at the caller ID quickly before smiling at the name there, pressing the phone against his ear as he answers the incoming call.

“Hey,” Sebastian says, letting his pen fall into the stack of papers as he leans back on the sofa. 

“So I’m going through my things --” Kurt says, already deciding to jump right into the conversation. Sebastian reaches up with his hand to rub at his forehead, listening to the sound of Kurt’s voice as he continues to speak. “-- And I think that packing everything up might be easier than I first considered it would be, surprisingly.”

Sebastian let’s out a low humming noise, before responding.

“What time’s your flight on Thursday?” He asks, excitement beginning to bubble up within the pit of his stomach at the simple thought that Kurt would soon be coming home in a few days time. To Sebastian, it feels like he hasn’t seen Kurt for a lot longer than just a few months, and the last final days of separation between them seemed to be creeping by even slower, as if tormenting him with what lay ahead for them.

“I’ll land in JFK sometime around lunchtime your time,” Kurt replies, and Sebastian can hear from the sound of shuffling that Kurt’s probably already folding the clothes he knows he won’t be wearing over the next few days and packing them away. “Do you still have the afternoon off that day, or do I need to find someone else to pick me up from the airport?”

“I’ll pick you up,” Sebastian says. His words come out in somewhat of a hurry, the very thought of someone else picking Kurt up and driving him home unsettling to him. Sebastian has been looking forward to Kurt’s return for much too long now, and he had always intended to be the one that Kurt sees first when he navigates his way through the airport with his luggage. He wasn’t about to let that change for anything. “I only have classes in the morning, so I’ll have enough time to make it to the airport. Don’t even worry about that.”

“Okay,” Kurt answers, and Sebastian can tell that he’s more than likely smiling into the phone. “If anything changes though, you'll let me know, right?”

“Kurt, nothing’s going to change,” Sebastian says. “You’re coming _home_. It would take an awful lot to stop me from wanting to pick you up that day.”

Sebastian thinks about the words after he has spoken them, realising just how true they were. He couldn't even think about cancelling on picking Kurt up, not without any good, real reason to do so. And if he were being completely honest, Sebastian can only think of a few reasons that would be important enough for him to even consider the thought to begin with.

“I do love it when you say that,” says Kurt after a long pause, his voice sounding soft over the line.

Sebastian smiles, understanding what it is Kurt means. He closes his eyes, letting himself relax at the thought that in just a few days time, the long distance thing that has been nothing but a barrier between them will finally be over. They still do have things that they need to talk about upon Kurt's return -- such as the status of the break that they're supposedly still on, even though Sebastian doesn't really know for certain if that's still in place or not -- but for now, the fact that there wasn’t long until he and Kurt were to be reunited in the same country, the same _city_ as one another, that was enough to put Sebastian in good spirits.

“New York is your home." He replied, just as softly as Kurt had spoken beforehand. "And it always will be.”


	8. Chapter 8

Sebastian can’t help but to wonder if airports make it their job to be overly confusing.

He’s been standing inside the airport for about half an hour, waiting to spot Kurt’s face in between the crowds of people that were leaving the building. A few others stand around where he is too, some waiting for loved ones to return just as Sebastian himself is, and others holding signs with people’s last names on, obviously from various cab companies and business that have little to no idea about who it is they’d been sent to pick up.

For at least the last fifteen minutes Sebastian hasn’t even been sure if he’s standing where he should be. The airport building is heaving and large, with various places that are mapped out for what he supposes is meant as some sort of easy way for people to find where they have to go. Although Sebastian himself is a rather seasoned traveller, he has never had to pick someone up before. All he really knew, was that he hadn’t felt that waiting in the arrivals carpark for Kurt to find him was the way he wanted their long awaited reunion to go between them.

For probably the tenth time Sebastian looks at his phone, checking it for any more new messages. Kurt had told him when it was he had landed, so at the very least Sebastian knew he was in the vast building somewhere. Sebastian wasn’t sure if Kurt was likely to contact him again beforehand, but he didn’t want to miss any contact from him, just incase either one of them did end up lost trying to find the other at any point.

He sighs however when he discovers there’s nothing new, and quickly pockets the phone once more. As he does Sebastian hears a loud cry of happiness from his left, and he turns his head in time to see yet another family reunited. Sebastian has lost count of how many that now makes -- having given up his tally after about watching five warm welcomes -- and turns back to face ahead of him again as a new crowd of travellers begin to litter the area.

Sebastian’s eyes scan the crowd, quickly noting that the majority of the people are both unfamiliar and unimportant to him, until suddenly his gaze halts and he freezes.

Because just turning around one of the corners, with his suitcase and carry-on in tow, Sebastian notices the perfectly coifed hair that can only possibly belong to one person.

_Kurt._

The sight has Sebastian stepping forward, relief and happiness rushing through his body. It takes a long moment for Kurt to notice him, but then finally he looks at Sebastian, and even from the distance of space separating them Sebastian can see the joy in Kurt’s expression, noticing the way Kurt’s lips curl upwards into a smile. The effect it has on Sebastian is contagious as his own face breaks out into a bright smile, lifting one hand to wave at Kurt. Sebastian suddenly has a flashback to when they were saying goodbye, how it was he had waved Kurt off as he stepped into the open doorway of the airport, and he allows himself a second to consider how different things were now.

At noticing Sebastian Kurt’s steps speed up slightly, suitcase being dragged behind him on it’s wheels and the strap of his carry-on back held tightly over his shoulder. Sebastian let’s his hand fall to his side as he watches Kurt make the remaining journey towards him, until eventually Kurt is more or less standing before him. Without even giving a moments thought Sebastian moves, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s middle and surprising him, lifting him slightly off his feet as Kurt drops his carry-on and lets go of the handle on the suitcase. Sebastian feels Kurt’s arms wrap around him just as tightly, a light, happy laugh leaving Kurt as Sebastian lifts him higher of the ground, letting out a small sound as he does.

Eventually Sebastian sets Kurt back down on his feet, leaning forward as he does so that his lips meet Kurt’s, kissing him passionately. Kurt instantly responds, moving his lips against Sebastian’s in rhythm, making up for all the time they’d been apart and hadn’t been able to kiss, to hold one another. Sebastian’s smile grows as he kisses Kurt, pressing deeper for a second before moving his lips lighter again, continuing the pattern for a while until eventually, he’s moving to pull away, pressing short, featherlight kisses against Kurt’s lips as he comes to a slow stop. He leans his forehead against Kurt’s, continuing to smile as he watches Kurt, noticing that he still has his eyes closed when his arms begin to move away from where they’re wrapped around Sebastian’s neck. Slowly he opens his eyes, moving so their foreheads are no longer touching and looking up at Sebastian, his own smile small but just as joyful -- if not more so -- than it had been before.

“I -- honestly was not expecting that,” Kurt says finally, breaking the peacefulness that had fallen between the two of him. The way he looks at Sebastian tells him that Kurt is finding something entertaining, humorous also, before Kurt finally settles for letting out a small breath of laughter. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Sebastian replies, his grin growing ever so slightly at Kurt’s amusement. He steps back then, keeping his hands settled on Kurt’s hips as he allows himself a moment to really look at him. Kurt tilts his head to one side, his eyes narrowing curiously before he’s giving a find eye roll.

“I am very much a real person, if that’s what you’re checking me out for, Bas.” Kurt says, and god, even hearing the nickname being spoken by Kurt in person is enough to have Sebastian feel as if his heart is somersaulting from within his very chest.

“Well I have to make sure. You never know what a few months and a long plane journey might do. I like this though,” Sebastian replies. He reaches up with one hand to gesture to Kurt’s hair where his bangs seem to be highlighted, making his hair seem somewhat lighter than it had been before he left. “It’s different. Suits you though.”

“I’m glad it get’s your approval,” Kurt says, his words are laced with the familiar tone Sebastian is used to when they’re having a playful discussion to one another, yet Sebastian can tell that Kurt really is happy to hear the compliments that Sebastian has to give him. “That’s what I was thinking about at the time I had them done of course, what it is _you’d_ say about them.”

Sebastian shakes his head at Kurt’s sarcasm, looking up above him for a moment as he lets out a laugh of his own.

“God, I sure have missed you and your smart assed comments,” Sebastian says as he looks at Kurt again, his eyes suddenly growing fond at the expression Kurt’s giving him. Things suddenly turn serious between them for a moment, and Sebastian takes the time to say what it is he’s been wanting to the moment he spotted Kurt. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Kurt’s smile turns soft, and his teasing from before fades.

“Me too.”

* * *

It’s not until they’re in the car, Kurt’s luggage in the boot and driving the familiar streets of New York back to the apartment that Sebastian suddenly realises that he’s still unsure as to where the two of them currently stand in their relationship together.

Neither him nor Kurt have mentioned anything about nor brought up the topic of the break that they’re supposed to be on with each other, and in a way Sebastian doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up now. Things are good between them currently, and they’re both simply happy that they get to be in one another’s presence once again. He can’t help but to feel that bringing such a topic up so soon would only break the spell, and Sebastian’s not quite ready for that.

Still, he can’t help but to let his mind wander slightly as he drives. The apartment they share is his, but Kurt had been calling it home for a few months since before he left. He assumed that thought hadn’t changed for him, but if it did in fact lead to them still being on their break whilst they continue to work on things between them in person, would that mean that Kurt would still be living in the apartment they shared?

It troubled Sebastian, but as he glanced out of the corner of his eye to where Kurt was sitting beside him, Sebastian could see that Kurt looked perfectly at peace. His head was turned so that he was looking out of the window, relaxed and silent in his seat. With the quick glimpses he was able to get from the reflection in the window as they moved, Sebastian could tell that Kurt’s eyes were fixed onto the tall skyscraper buildings that towered over the city, and to the small little streets that were familiar and recognisable. Sebastian knew that Kurt was born for the city that never sleeps, that he thrives in it, so he can only imagine how at home Kurt probably felt having returned after so long.

“Rachel’s show has been going well,” Sebastian says as he turns to focus his attention back onto the road. He can sense Kurt turn his head ever so slightly in his direction to show he’s listening, before continuing. “She mentioned that she was going to try and get you a ticket to see it at some point now you’re back. You’re currently the only one out of all of us that hasn't been subjected to a viewing starring Her Royal Highness.”

“You mean she even managed to successfully drag you to it too?” Kurt asks, his eyes widening slightly. Sebastian gives a small shrug with one shoulder.

“I didn’t have much say in the matter, to be honest. And thankfully, Santana was free to go that night too,” He paused to focus on taking a turn before continuing. “If you want though, I can suffer through it again for you? Her costar’s not bad to look at, if anything.”

“Ah, so there _was_ a silver lining in it for you,” Kurt replies, as if he’s just understood the real reason Sebastian hadn’t resisted the show as much as he normally would have.

“Of course there was.”

There’s a lull in their conversation for a moment then, before Kurt eventually moves to sit up a little bit better in his seat. His attention turns fully to Sebastian, no longer focusing on what’s happening in the world outside the window.

“We’ll go sometime later in the week. I think I need a few days just to get my feet firmly planted back on American soil again,” Kurt says, smiling at Sebastian when Sebastian lets out a huff of laughter at his words. “Plus I do want to see a few of my other friends too. I’ll have to start finding out when everyone’s free and when they’re busy again now that I’m back.”

A smile returns on Sebastian’s face at hearing Kurt say he’s back, the action immediate.

“Sure,” He replies, nodding. “But -- just don’t organise any plans for tonight, alright?”

“Why not tonight?” Kurt asks, curious. “Is something happening?”

“I wouldn’t really call it _happening,_ ” Sebastian says just as they reach a line of traffic. He spares a moment to look at Kurt quickly. “I just want to be a little bit selfish and keep you all to myself for the evening. Is that such a bad thing?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow at Sebastian’s question, staring at him silently. Sebastian waits for a few moment’s before shaking his head, turning to look back at the road once more.

“Okay, so I _may_ have booked us reservations at a restaurant you happen to be rather fond of.”

Kurt’s eyes brighten at Sebastian’s words, the excitement for what it is Sebastian has just revealed obvious from within them.

“Are you taking me to Ria’s?” He asks, tone still curious yet somewhat amused. Sebastian can’t help but to grin widely at hearing Kurt’s question, glad to know that his decision seemed to have achieved what it was he had originally hoped for.

“You’ll have to see later tonight, won’t you? I mean there’s just _so much_ for you to do first until then: like unpacking all of your stuff, going through whatever gift shop crap you’ve brought people back as presents …”

“Don’t be an asshole,” Kurt says as Sebastian’s words drift off, his own accompanied by a small bubble of laughter. “You should know by now that any gifts that I may or may not have brought would have been carefully picked out by yours truly.”

“Ah, so no one should expect a cheesy, novelty t-shirt or bumper sticker for their car then?” Sebastian asks.

“Well I might have brought one of those things for you,” Kurt shoots back. Sebastian laughs under his breath, relishing in the feeling of having Kurt sitting beside him once more, listening to his quick, sharp replies that flow easily and naturally in response to Sebastian’s own.

“I hope you picked good ones. None of this forced humour bullshit, they better be generally _hilarious_.”

The traffic ahead of them finally begins to move once more, and Sebastian slowly continues to drive. In his mind he is sure of one thin, and that is that even if he is still unsure about the status of whether or not him and Kurt were on a break still or were continuing to move back into their relationship again, Sebastian is sure that him and Kurt still work together in the way that they always had. There so far is no awkwardness between them, no strain or force there within their actions towards one another. If anything, that at least provides Sebastian somewhat of a relief to see and understand.

He just hopes that now that the struggle of long distance is behind them, the difficulties that they had faced during that duration will be over for them too. After all, Sebastian can’t help the little light of optimism that glows at the back of his mind, thinking that things can only keep moving forward from where they currently find themselves.

* * *

Later that evening, after Sebastian helps Kurt unpack a few of his belongings whilst listening to him talk about how the past few months of his placement had gone for him, Sebastian finds himself sitting across from Kurt at the table he had reserved for them in Ria’s -- much to Kurt’s extreme happiness.

Ria’s had always been a common place for the two of them to go out on dates or to spend a relaxing evening drinking together at the bar the restaurant held within it. Sebastian had always thought that it was the perfect place for the both of them as it was elegant in a way that made it appealing to any visitor who entered, whilst at the same still managing to avoid seeming overly intimidating towards anyone in any way. Sebastian finds it both familiar and comfortable, and he knew that Kurt had been more or less in love with the place ever since Sebastian had used it as a place to host a surprise party he had thrown him for his twenty-first birthday.

It helped that the restaurants menu carried some of the best dishes either of them had seen, and that when those dishes were served the food always managed to look both incredible and appealing. That, joint with the relaxing and easy-going atmosphere of the place, made a very easy case in the explanation as to why Sebastian and Kurt were both so fond of returning time and time again.

Sebastian hasn’t forgotten to notice how Kurt is dressed up in an impressive outfit to match the occasion either -- he couldn’t really forget it if he tried, after waiting for a good half an hour for Kurt to get ready. Sebastian had never really been sure as to why Kurt took so long to get himself ready, especially considering he could wear more or less anything and Sebastian would be likely to think he still managed to look great in it, but yet he had learnt not to complain about Kurt’s odd habits either. Especially not with how his body was still humming with happiness at the very feeling of having Kurt around him again.

They’re part way through their main meal -- Kurt having spent a large majority of the time until that point still updating Sebastian about the things he hadn’t been able to share with him either via Skype or through their phone calls, whilst at the same time taking the opportunity to try and catch up on the things he had missed himself since he’s been away -- when Sebastian decides to bow his head slightly, letting his eyes glance down at the remainder of the food that sits on his plate.

Everything up until that point has been going perfectly between them both, and Sebastian finds himself too scared to break the spell that has fallen over them. Yet he knows that he has to, that what is on his mind cannot remain there forever, and that the best thing he can really do is talk about it. After all, wasn’t communication one of the main things that both he and Kurt had been striving to make an improvement on?

Sebastian sucks in a deep breath, letting go of both his knife and fork and laying it down carefully onto the plate, before letting his hands quietly rest together in his lap.

“I have a confession to make,” He eventually hears himself saying. Across from him Kurt pauses in where he’s drinking from a glass of wine, his expression curious before he lowers the glass, setting it back down on the table lightly.

“Oh?” Sebastian hears Kurt ask, his tone revealing the interest he has in what Sebastian wants to say.

“I didn’t just book the reservations tonight to celebrate you coming back home,” Sebastian confesses. He pauses for a long second, his head ducking a little bit more, expression falling onto his clasped hands, watching as his fingers anxiously moved within his lap.

“I booked them so that I could give you a much needed apology too.”

“An apology?” Kurt echos. Sebastian doesn’t have to look up at Kurt to know that he’s more than likely feeling puzzled. “What do you think you even need to apologise for?”

Sebastian huffs out a weak breath of laughter at the question, shaking his head to himself before giving Kurt the answer that he had preparing.

“Why? Because I was an asshole to you both before and while you were away. And -- that’s putting it really lightly.”

He pauses again, eventually letting his gaze move upwards once more to look at Kurt again. He can see the bewilderment that is written prominently across Kurt’s face, and Sebastian finds himself pushing on with his words to further explain things, even if he does feel somewhat uncomfortable with how open and vulnerable the topic he’s brought up still manages to make him feel.

“I was more or a less a nightmare to deal with. You know it, I know it. Not to mention we had that big argument that more or less _showed_ it --”

“But we’ve already sorted that --”

“Kurt, please,” Sebastian interrupts, holding up a hand to tell Kurt to be quiet for a moment. What he is admitting is difficult enough for him to do anyway, and Sebastian doesn’t need Kurt making excuses for the negative actions on his part. “I _was_ a nightmare. And that was mostly because I was insecure. And I know, I’ve already apologised for my actions when I called you and we started to talk things out more -- but even so that apology felt … too impersonal. I spent a whole week feeling like I’d severely fucked things up between us, and you didn’t deserve having me act like a dick just because of whatever it was I was letting myself believe or feel. So … tonight is both a celebration to welcome you back, as well as being the proper apology that I feel that I owe you.”

Kurt is silent for a long moment, watching Sebastian with a strange expression on his face. Sebastian resists the urge to shift in his seat under Kurt’s gaze, noticing Kurt’s attention drop to the table for a moment before looking up at him again.

“You know we both acted pretty terrible to each other.” He said. “I don’t think we owe each other anything. Well -- maybe now _I_ owe _you_ a proper apology, if this meal is part of yours.”

A smile begins to stretch across Sebastian’s lips, and he sits up a little straighter in his seat again.

“I’m sure there’s _something_ you can come with,” Sebastian answers, his smile slowly curling upwards into a grin. “You’re usually rather … _inventive_ with your ideas.”

Kurt’s own face brightens with a mischievous smile at Sebastian’s blatant suggestion, and Sebastian watches him give a small shrug of his shoulder as he moves his hand to let his finger trace around the rim of his wine glass.

“Perhaps. Who knows what it is I could come with if I put my mind to it?” Kurt asks, his tone playful, almost leaning close onto the edge of teasing.

Sebastian’s heartbeat quickens in his chest at the response, yet at the same time he’s hit with the same feelings that had bombarded him earlier that day whilst he had been driving Kurt back from the airport. He is suddenly once again unsure about where it truly is that they stand with one another, and although Kurt’s playfulness is more than acceptable to Sebastian (it’s encouraged in fact, and Sebastian thinks Kurt should perhaps be open to indulging in that side of himself a little more regularly), there is still one thing he wants to make clear in the messy cloud of confused thoughts that continue to choke his mind.

His brow begins to furrow as he let’s himself succumb to his curiosities once more, the grin he had been wearing beginning to fade until he’s only lightly smiling again.

“Kurt --” Sebastian begins, taking another second to pause as he swallows around a lump that has begun to form in the back of his throat. He turns his eyes to gaze up and focus on Kurt, a look of sincerity written across them. “What are we right now? Are we together or -- do you still feel more comfortable with us continuing to be on a break for a little while longer? Which ... is it for us at the moment?”

Kurt takes a moment to watch Sebastian, and the seconds that in which he finds himself waiting stretch on like an eternity for Sebastian, like a duration of agony. After a while Kurt slowly shifts in his seat, appearing to make himself more comfortable as his tongue pokes out ever so slightly to dampen his dry lips, something Sebastian has noticed Kurt does whenever he feels particularly anxious or nervous.

“What is it that you want us to be?” Kurt asks him, resting his hands upon the table. His eyes bore into Sebastian’s, searching him and holding the gaze so that Sebastian can’t find it in himself to look away even if he wanted to. “Do you think that we’re ready to keep moving forward from the position we were in before? After all, the whole purpose of the break to begin with was to try and help us sort things out.”

Sebastian doesn’t have to think for long to know what his answer is, already nodding by the end of what Kurt’s saying. He maintains the focus he has with Kurt, the silent conversation that their gazes seem to be having with one another, until he finally replies.

“I think we’re ready,” Sebastian says. The rhythm of his heart beating hasn’t slowed any, as although he is certain of his own feelings on the matter, it is Kurt’s that are currently kept so in the dark to him. “I think that ... we really have been trying to work on things better these past few weeks. I mean, sure, I’m not about to lie and say that we haven’t still argued from time to time -- but it’s never been over something we couldn’t take back or that either of us later regrets like it had been before. What do you think though? How do you feel about things between the two of us right now?”

If it’s anything to go by, Sebastian begins to notice that Kurt’s lips slowly curve upwards the more he speaks, his attention still focused on him and showing to Sebastian that he is listening to every word he has to say with intent. When Sebastian finishes speaking Kurt slowly reaches his hands out between him, clasping one of Sebastian’s hands and pulling it lightly towards himself. Questioningly, Sebastian allows Kurt to take his hand, watching as he moves to rest it on the table, sandwiched between both of his own. The action is encouraging, and Sebastian can’t help but to just stare at it for a long moment, turning to look back up at Kurt again afterwards.

“I think we’re ready too,” Kurt answers, his voice soft and light.

Sebastian lets the words sink into his mind, his heart suddenly feeling as if it’s been set free out of any restraints it had been placed in before. His own smile grows hugely on it’s own accord, a reaction caused by the happiness that is threatening to course through his veins and his entire body.

“You do?” Sebastian asks, as if he needs confirmation to make sure that he’s heard Kurt correctly, that he’s heard him agree to the two of them picking their relationship back up again.

“I do,” Kurt answers, his expression seemingly humoured by Sebastian’s disbelief. He reaches for the wine bottle placed on the table, pouring a little more drink into his half empty glass as his other hand remains rested atop Sebastian’s. “I spent a lot of time thinking about it on the plane ride over here, actually. Trying to weigh up what was the best thing for us to do would be. But it just -- it hit me at some point that we don’t really have anymore reason to be on a break. I felt it was needed with the distance because we just weren’t communicating or really understanding one another as much as we would usually, and it really seemed to help set us back on the right track again. Now however, I just -- I want to be with you again. Despite what might come up in the future for us to struggle against and work on together. After all, one of the main ways to keep our relationship healthy is to work things out together as a sort of team, isn’t it?”

“Well I always thought so,” Sebastian says. He turns the hand that is still covered by Kurt's so that their palms are touching, letting his fingers lightly dance at the smooth skin there. “So, just to be sure, and so I know that I’m just hearing what I want to hear -- this is us picking up our relationship again, right?”

Kurt’s smile grows, and he nods at Sebastian’s question.

“Yes, Sebastian,” He replies. “This is us picking up our relationship again.”

Sebastian’s smile remains light and happy on his face, echoing slightly the trademark smirk that he was still so often known to wear. Kurt’s words are what he wants and needs to hear, and for them to be accompanied by the now carefree, content look that is present on Kurt’s face, well it makes Sebastian feel complete for the first time in a long while. Perhaps even for the first time since Kurt had left, or even when he had first spoken of the offer to go to Milan.

“Good,” Sebastian says, moving his hand slightly so that he can give a light squeeze to Kurt’s, before removing it completely and picking up his cutlery once more. He starts to eat the remainder of his food again, putting a piece into his mouth before speaking around it. “Does this now mean that we can celebrate your return in the proper way tonight then?”

From across the table Kurt gives a fond eye roll before letting out a laugh, and Sebastian knows then, that they most certainly are back on the track that they had wanted to be travelling on.

****  



	9. Epilogue

“Damn it.” Sebastian mumbles to himself, his hands frantically searching through the paperwork on the table. After throwing a few more papers down he sighs, lifting his head up so that he could call out to wherever his husband is in the apartment.

“Kurt! Do you remember where it was that I left my passport yesterday?” 

The response – although somewhat muffled from having come from the kitchen – is immediate.

“I put it by your suitcase before going to bed last night. I even _told_ you that so you knew.” 

Sebastian shakes his head, dropping the rest of the papers down to rest on the table. Another sigh leaves his lips and he moves to make his way over to where his suitcase sat against the back of the sofa, carry-on sitting right next to it and there, visible just by the corner of it poking out from the open zip pocket in the front, is the familiar maroon colour of Sebastian’s passport. 

Sebastian let’s out a breath in relief, reaching down to pull out both the passport and the paperwork that was sitting along with it. He quickly checks over everything for what feels like probably the hundredth time, making sure no important paperwork that he needs to take with him is missing or left lying around somewhere. He is so engrossed in what he is doing that he doesn’t even sense when Kurt walks into the room, only growing aware of the others presence when Kurt sets a drink that he’s made for himself down onto the coffee table, moving to re-stack the papers Sebastian had left scattered on there only moments beforehand.

“Found it?” Kurt asks, and Sebastian’s body turns at the sound in a way that shows he is listening. He holds up the passport with one hand, eyes still flicking through the last through pages of information he is holding. 

“Yeah, thanks for that. I’d forgot you’d moved my stuff around again." 

Sebastian hears Kurt let out a small huff, moving to set his hands on his hips after he’s sorted out the pile of papers. 

“I moved it because I knew you’d be like this from the moment you woke up this morning; running around in a rush without even thinking to use your head first,” Kurt says. His words aren’t angry or annoyed – in fact they hold fondness in them, and Sebastian has come to learn by now that Kurt was only thinking of his best interests by moving things in the first place.

The soft shuffle of feet as Sebastian stops checking his papers has his head turning, watching as Kurt moves to stand beside him, placing one hand onto his arm. Kurt rubs it reassuringly, glancing at the papers and passport Sebastian is holding in his hand before letting his gaze trace upwards towards Sebastian’s face.

“Got everything you need?” He asks. Sebastian nods.

“Yeah, everything’s here. Passport and boarding passes included. Anything else should be waiting for me at the airport.”

He grins, looking down slightly at Kurt standing beside him. A fond look is apparent upon Kurt’s features, one that is soft and content, and he let’s out a small humming sound before speaking.

“It’s hard to believe that you’ll be in London this time tomorrow. I mean, _London_. We’ve been talking about this since the beginning of the year now, and the times finally rolled around.”

Sebastian’s grin grows at Kurt’s words, and he moves to press a kiss into Kurt’s hair briefly. He carefully moves his arm out of Kurt’s grasp, letting himself wrap it around Kurt’s waist instead, pulling him closer to his side.

“I know. It’s insane, isn’t it?” Sebastian replies.

“Hmm. Very.”

Sebastian rests his chin on top of Kurt’s head, continuing to hold him close. A few seconds pass between them in a comfortable silence, before eventually Sebastian is speaking again.

“It’s even more insane to think that _you’re_ going to be in Paris this time next week too. Look at us, jet-setting and taking the world by storm!” 

Kurt snorts, pulling away ever so slightly so that he can look up at Sebastian with a raised eyebrow.

“Only if your definition of jet-setting includes work related business, Bas. It’s not like we’re both going away on vacation or anything like that.”

“Not at first, no. But we will be,” Sebastian says. “Once you’re done with the work you have to do. After three weeks, you’ll be in London too, with me. And with my law work out of the way that week, you can’t really say that’s not a vacation worth looking forward to now, can you?”

Sebastian watches as Kurt rolls his eyes, noticing the way that a light smile appears upon his lips.

“No, I can’t,” Kurt replies, moving forward to press a quick, chaste kiss against Sebastian’s lips before pulling away again. “But let’s get over the first three to four weeks of work first, shall we?”

Sebastian looks as if he’s about to say something in response, but is quickly stopped by a loud vibration coming inside his jacket pocket. With his free hand Sebastian quickly reaches for it, pulling it out and noticing the text that’s staring back at him. He let’s his eyes scan over it, before shoving it back deep in his pocket again. 

“The cab’s arrived,” Sebastian says, pulling his arm slowly away from where it had been wrapped around Kurt’s waist before turning his gaze to settle on him again. He gives Kurt a small smile, before leaning down and pressing their lips together. It’s rough and over far too quickly, with Sebastian pulling away as soon as Kurt’s almost willing to deepen it, but it’s enough to share what it is Sebastian has to say to Kurt, and vice versa.

“I’ll text you as soon as I get into Heathrow,” Sebastian says, moving to where his bags are and hitching his carry-on over one shoulder. His other hand pulls up the handle on his suitcase, and once his carry-on feels secure, Sebastian points to where Kurt is still standing and watching him. “Don’t you forget to tell Maman that I said hi – or rather, ‘ _Bonjour’_. I don’t need her telling me off via Skype again that I didn’t send her my wishes – especially not whilst she’ll have you working by her side too.”

Kurt lets out a loud laugh at Sebastian’s words, following after him as he begins to walk towards the front door.

“I won’t,” He says as he walks. “I promise. The first thing I’ll tell her is just how much her sweet, baby boy Sebastian wants to see her again soon.”

“Well you don’t have to go _that_ far,” Sebastian answers. “You’ve got to maintain _some_ of my credibility, Kurt.”

He stops once he reaches the door, standing his suitcase up by itself before turning towards Kurt. Sebastian shares a smile with him, one that he sees Kurt return, and although he knows he has an impatient driver waiting for him downstairs, Sebastian still steps forward to wrap Kurt up in a tight hug, feeling Kurt’s arms around him as he returns it. 

“Have a good time in Paris, won’t you?” Sebastian asks, although they both know the answer. He feels Kurt nod against his shoulder, and the action alone is enough to make Sebastian’s smile grow. “And don’t miss me too much.”

“Both your mother and I intend to call you whenever we can,” Kurt replies, letting go of Sebastian and stepping back. “Enjoy London. I’d ask you for a souvenir, but I might as well just buy my own when I meet up with you there.”

Sebastian huffs out a laugh, shaking his head one more time before reaching to hold onto his suitcase handle again. 

“My gift will be the best hotel room I can find for the two of us there,” Sebastian says, before pausing. He tilts his head slightly, watching Kurt with warmth in his expression. He hitches his carry-on further up his arm, feeling the strap beginning to slip slightly, and decides it’s time to say goodbye.

“See you soon, love,” Sebastian says, before turning to open the door to their apartment. He reaches for his suitcase, setting it on it’s wheels so that he can move it to the elevator with ease, but not before hearing Kurt’s response. 

“I love you too. See you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... And so I draw a close here at the end of 'This Distance Between Us'. Phew, I was beginning to think we'd never reach it!
> 
> First of all, I would like to take a moment to say a thank you to those who this story was originally promised/dedicated to: and that would be those from Gleeky. In particular, the last three musketeers that stood on that site (other than myself of course): Phil, Hannah, and Molly. I knew this story was always going to be told one way or another as soon as the idea struck me, and although it's grown and changed and become it's own thing now, it got there in the end. :) I hope, if any of you three are or have been following this, that you enjoyed it, and that I did justice to the story I was trying to tell. 
> 
> I would also like to say thank you to all those that have been following and reading this story. Without readers, writers would just be writers, and it makes me happy to know that so many of you seemed to be enjoying this work along the way! So thank you for sticking around, and I hope that it was worth it and that you found it enjoyable!
> 
> I also mentioned doing a few outtakes from Kurt's POV earlier in this story. Now I am still considering that -- since I personally love this world the characters are in, and can write more for them for ages -- but I don't know if others would be interested in reading Kurt's mind and thoughts about some of the difficulties he and Sebastian went through during their time away. If anyone does, let me know, and I'll definitely see what I can do. 
> 
> This story became much larger than I originally thought it would, but I'm happy for what it is. I hope that you guys all liked it too. :)


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